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Unknown userMember
Does anyone here believe they are destined to not being in a relationship? I feel this way a lot as I feel like I’m not a desirable person.
I’ve worked hard to be content and satisfied in life but I feel like that’s just gaslighting myself to think that’s what I need to be accepted.
I feel so sad
In response to: Never being in a relationship
tymeModerator
What??? Only 30? @Former-Member Forgive me if that feels invalidating... You've got a lifetime ahead!
Geezzz. considering how much you have achieved by 30, that's even more wow! Good on you!
ROLL UP! ROLL UP! There's gold here! (jokes).
I gtg now, but will catch ya tomorrow.
In response to: Never being in a relationship
tymeModerator
Since there is 'no support for men' like you, take the lead mate. YOU be the resource for men like you. YOU be the one to advocate and support people like you.
You are the best at understanding what works for you - much better than what I and others can.
Definitely, take the reins! Go for it. Don't wait for Change. BE THE CHANGE. It's in your hands. @Former-Member
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
Unknown userMember
@tyme
Believe me I have tried. I tried starting groups last year, I tried doing blog posts, I have tried doing a variety of things. I dont know what to do. Ive asked various organisations and they havent helped either. There are no resources or support structures.
Believe me I have left no stone unturned. Based on my experiences recently, people dont want to hear what I have to say.
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
I have heard other young men of a similar age say similar things
@Former-Member
a week ago on a zoom meeting… a man said he was privileged to be a white male…. Was shaking my head trying to communicate that he didn’t have to say that….
But given the many circumstances I see around…. It is not always easy being male … especially if people feel overly guilty for just being who they were born as…
I respect that most people have struggles… or pain of some kind
take care
apple
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
Unknown userMember
@Appleblossom
I think there is a lack of resources in men’s mental health in today’s society. I feel very alone and like I have no one you gets how I feel. I’m at the shops and everyone around me looks like they are in a relationship.
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
@Former-Member
I have felt like that especially when I go into the city and see what seems to be couples and happy families.
Yes, also hearing you about men's mental health these days. Despite there being some groups just for men, there is a lot of generalising that seems discriminatory to me.
It should not be a crime just to be male.
Everyone has pain and struggles.
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
Unknown userMember
I think I’m just bitter and twisted. I haven’t had any intimacy in almost 6 years. I haven’t had sex in almost 6 years. I haven’t had anyone show any interest in me or put any effort in wanting to be with me in almost 6 years.
yet ive worked on myself consistently for 6 years, I’m a very different person now. I have my own place, I have a job, I’ve got more friends. I have lots of hobbies too. Yet this area of my life is completely unsatisfactory.
I feel completely stuck. I have no idea how to deal with this sexual frustration. I’ve tried seeing a sex therapist to mixed results. I’ve tried to seek support.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I am crying so much over how painful and ashamed this makes me feel.
@Appleblossom @tyme @rav3n @Ru-bee
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
rav3nSenior Contributor
i can hear how painfully frustrating this is for you, sending you hugs 💙
@Former-Member you have done and accomplished so much! i hope you're proud of yourself for how far you've come, i sure am! you mentioned that the sex therapy ended up with mixed results, out of curiosity - was your therapist educated on/experienced in working with people who are on the spectrum? also, what did you mean by 'mixed results'?
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
tymeModerator
Hey mate, I'm sorry you are feeling so stuck. That feeling sure sucks!
I can see how much this is affecting you and you genuinely WANT change, but don't know how - right? @Former-Member
I really don't know what to say that will help. I know what I would do and what I've been taught to do, but I know I'm not you, so I don't want you to feel invalidated.
As I've mentioned before, you've honestly got so much in you. I'm not sure what else I can say to help you feel less stuck at this time.
Please know I'm here to lend you an ear.
In response to: Re: Never being in a relationship
Unknown userMember
I dont think they were @rav3n Honestly all of these sex therapists/dating coaches have no idea what its like to be on the spectrum.
I think the mixed results stuff centres around the fact that I can talk about sex more but I still have no idea how to get into a sexual relationship whatsoever
Like it is so painful to sit with these feelings. I wish my brain was wired differently
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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