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Can you see me?

Invisible18Casual Contributor22 Sept 2024, 11:06 am AEST

Can you see me?

Hi,

I’ve just joined, I never, and I mean never share in groups. I don’t really share with anyone except those very few people I let into my inner circle and even then I’m cautious. So this very big for me.

I don’t know what to say or where to start. I don’t like asking for or accepting help. I like to hide from the world because every single time I’ve allowed myself not to, I’ve been hurt.

But I’m really struggling at the moment. Everything feels too heavy, and too much.

I am a very strong, hyper-independent person. I give so much of myself to those I love and when they just take and don’t give in return, I get hurt. I don’t know how to stop being like this.
I have anxiety from my childhood and recently it’s become very difficult to manage. I react badly to medication so I can’t take anything and I have been in therapy in the past. I don’t want to see anyone or go anywhere for help. I’ve learnt to just ride it out and wait until I feel like I can be human again.

I have spent every single day of my life caring for everyone around me (even my career is based on caring for others). I care for my children and husband and I cared for my parents and brothers growing up.
I want to be cared for. All I want is to be loved like I love those around me. To be put first, to be seen, to be valued and allowed to be me, faults and all. I do and have always felt like I need to earn love.
But no matter how much I give or how hard I try or how much I sacrifice, it’s not enough.

I just want to know I’m not alone. And someone, somewhere out there sees me, understands and accepts me even when I’m not perfect

19 replies

11 - 19 of 19

In response to: Can you see me?

tymeModerator25 Sept 2024, 6:54 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

How are you today @Invisible18 ?

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

Invisible18Casual Contributor25 Sept 2024, 7:10 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

@tymethank you for checking in. I’m going ok, I have been trying to take care of myself as much as I can.
I have booked a GP appointment so I can get a mental health plan and see a psychologist. I have also found the courage to very clearly express my needs to those around me. I am hoping this will help things change going forward. I’m skeptical but hopeful.
How are things going for you?

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

tymeModerator25 Sept 2024, 7:16 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

Hey @Invisible18 , glad to hear things are okay-ish, I guess?

Well done on taking that first step to get a MHCP. Have you got a psychologist yet? It may take time to get to see a psych if you don't have one already.

What other supports do you have?

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

Invisible18Casual Contributor25 Sept 2024, 7:24 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

@tyme I don’t have a psychologist yet. I saw one a long time ago, about 10 years so I’ll try to find someone new.

It might take a few months to get into to see one I’m guessing m.
I’m not feeling as defeated as I was the other day. I’ll keep soldiering on.
I don’t have lots of supports. I’m thinking I might try to join a club or something to meet some new people.

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

tymeModerator25 Sept 2024, 7:30 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

I'm not sure about where you are, but in my local area, out council runs a lot of events for the community. They put out an activity booklet which has anything from robotics, to dance, to cooking, book clubs, yoga, pickleball, crafts @Invisible18 These are all free or low cost activities for the community. I wonder if you have anything similar?

We also have coffee and chat clubs.

Maybe thinks about what you are interested in and go from there?

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

Invisible18Casual Contributor25 Sept 2024, 7:42 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

@tyme I hadn’t thought of that but I will see what I can find. I like running and crafts so hopefully there’s something in my area. It’s scary to step out and meet new people but I guess if we don’t step out of our comfort zone, we don’t grow.

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

tymeModerator25 Sept 2024, 7:55 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

In a way, I think the others will be in a similar space too @Invisible18 .

I feel that people usually join these groups to connect with others. Once they have connected with people, then they can continue connecting outside group.

I've also don't soap making and candle making. They were pretty cool.

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

Invisible18Casual Contributor25 Sept 2024, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

Yes I think you’re right @tyme. I wanted to connect with others and felt so very alone so I found this group.
Did you do candle making and soap making through your local council? That sounds fun! I’d love to try something like that.

In response to: Re: Can you see me?

tymeModerator25 Sept 2024, 8:41 pm AEST

Re: Can you see me?

Yes @Invisible18,

It was through my local council. It was great to see so many people go. I learnt a lot for it, but the main thing is it was to get out to connect with others.

11 - 19 of 19

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.