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am i the only listener?

Unknown userMember23 Jan 2017, 3:26 pm AEDT

am i the only listener?

am i the only person who listens and listens and listens. I listen to every word, sense how the person is feeling, take in some of that feeling. i have done this my whole life. I have memories as a child of this.

people do not listen to me though. they do not want to hear my story.

i can give my thoughts only to hear someone utter the same later and for that person to be acknowledged. I am dismissed.

am i invisible?

if i clicked my fingers and disappeared in a puff of smoke? would i even be missed?

i have had these experiences throughout my life over and over.

Why should I change though? Why should I start not listening and start talking about myself regardless of whether anyone wants to hear?

I give up.

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In response to: am i the only listener?

Unknown userMember24 Jan 2017, 4:08 pm AEDT

Re: am i the only listener?

Hi @Former-Member - I havent had an opportunity to read all the posts here, only your first post. I can so relate. I often feel like you do (doing all the listening but not being listened to). And I think this is emphasised more so for me when I have experienced tragedy, grief and loss - when I needed people the most then just to listen and no one is there, or half listens. Or worse are indifferent andjudges or just wants to know out of curiousity and gossips. I kept much to myself in real life - I may share something with my best friend and husband (but they don't usually handle it). So I just have to juggle it alone now.

I was told once most people only listen to a quarter of what is said. I am so frustrated by this I have given up even trying to talk - long ago. But like you I listen to every word. The only problem I have is that I don't have the time to read all posts here like I want to - to deeply listen to all on here. It's just impossible for me. But I so hear you and resonate with every word.

And please don't think you are consumed with self pity - losing a child to mental illness is horrific - losing a child in any way is and the grief can be overwhelming. Anyone would feel the same. For me it took some time to learn to move forward whilst carrying such grief and mental scars. Be kind to yourself for now.

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