I'm sorry

ohhhhh that is Beautiful @utopia, @pip xx

hello @BlueBay, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom

hello @pip @BlueBay @Shaz51 @utopia @Appleblossom

"hope I am welcome" indeed!! what is this nonsense she sprouts!!

you havent left in my eyes, you are still in our thoughts, you are a part of the bigger us. you are respected, appreciated and valued here. nothing you say will change that.

here is a place unlike any other. here you are safe to be you. notwithstanding the watchful eyes of the moderators (who are also a part of us) and necessary rules to keep all within safe boundaries.

as for ranting, i am very good at that so I put my hand up to that one.

as for woe is me, yes hand goes up again.

appreciate warm welcome, hand springs up.

focus on us - chorus coming ....... nooooooooo .... focus on you and be there for us when you can

sending love back dear pip xxxxxx ps hope you dont mind my silliness i get so deep on here and i actually do have a sense of humour would you believe.

hello @BlueBay @Shaz51 @utopia @pip @Appleblossom

i am so sorry i missed your post. you sound as though you are in a similar place to where i have come out from. That is why i missed your post.

would you believe that I had almost all of the same thoughts that you have written.

I expect that there are many others who have read what you have written and felt the same.

You articulated your thoughts so well. Your writing is far more organised than mine that just goes on and on and on in to eternity.

your words are going to be such a huge help for people in a bad place to find in the future. For them to read that they are not alone, that they are not beyond help.

all of the names you remembered at the beginning my gosh well done just for that.

you are inspiring my dear and just are in a place at the moment where you cannot see anything positive.

I am hoping that by the time you read this you will have started to come out at the other end of the despair. Yes it is so hard but healing if you can push through that horrible pain rather than bury it.

@BlueBay@utopia@Former-Member & @pip

I dont mind rants compassion and humour too. @Former-Member

Pip your comment about getting outside of yourself touches on an aspect of dissociation.

It seems there is a spectrum there too .. where we can do it sometimes in a healthy way but if it becomes too habitual we lose touch with whom we are.

I also found it healing and important to discover my own personality again away from all the negativity and sneers of my exhusband.

For about ten years I went around saying sorry to everyone, quietly and would move aside. My flare up on Christmas Eve was a turn around on all that .. saying I am sick of saying sorry .. and noticing how many people dont.

Pip I am glad you are back on this forum. I havent much experience on other sites .. but there is great teamwork here.

Hi @Appleblossom

I am interested in your comment abut dissociation spectrum - I guess I could look that up and I will see if I can find something about it - but I would hate to lose sight of myself when it seems I have bad spells and would rather sit alone for the duration and get out of myself when I feel as if I have thought it through

I have feel feeling rotten about my "mother-issues" since yesterday - yes - I was triggered - and I tend to get overwhelmed and can't think past it for the duration -

So I am wondering - if we have the subject of dissociation spectrum - is personalisation at the other end of that spectrum?

I am not really worried about myself here - but helping others is a way of helping ourselves - but I can't get there until I sort my own head out - and so it's 24 hours since I did more than check the TV programmes

Thanks Apple - I guess I am gaining an eduation here - which is a good thing

Dec