Sister has BPD

Hello, I’m new here and was hoping I could share my experience over the last 20 years with my sister who I am very close with who has borderline personality disorder. I’ve never reached out to support groups although feel now that I would benefit from connecting with others that have spent years supporting a loved one with this. My sister is six years older than me and was properly diagnosed with BPD when she was 28 after years and years of miss diagnosing. My sister lost all her close friends from high school when she was 25 and is now 40 and has never been able to establish new friendship groups or relationships with males. She is extremely lonely and for the last 20 years I’ve felt a lot of responsibility growing up with her knowing how unwell she was and trying to ensure she was ok all the time. My mother did as much as she could for my sister although moved interstate recently which has left my sister even more isolated as I also moved interstate near my mum to raise my children. On reflection I feel sick to my stomach that my mum moved and left my sister in another state knowing full well how lonely she is and I feel guilty every day knowing I moved. I just want her to be okay and it’s taken up a lot of my emotions and life over the last 20 years always putting my sister first. I just want to feel happy moving forward with my life and not feel so sad about hers. I feel at times she doesn’t want to help herself, she won’t make an effort to change certain behaviours and it’s extremely frustrating and I guess I’m just frustrated and emotional about the roller coast it’s been. Hoping to chat to others that have been through similar.