Glass Child?

Hey @Trickster thanks for sharing your story. I know that opening up about these things aren't easy and you've shown a lot of courage in talking about it.

I'm sorry to hear your relationship with your family, particularly your sibling, has been really rough. You did not deserve to be treated that way. I can tell by the way you talk about your siblings that you care about them a lot, and really shows what a compassionate person you are.

It's really great that you've got a psychologist and neuropsychologist to support you now. You've come a long way, I hope you know how great you're doing in terms of reaching out and prioritising your mental health. Perhaps your siblings will be inspired by your progress and seek support themselves in the future 😊

@rav3nunfortunately I think that might be one of the negative results of glass child RAD relationships; anytime I need help I become visible that feels like an attack on the RADs need for love unfortunately so yes their is in therapy but the way they told me they were in therapy the tone was vicious to illicit a response "I talk about you in therapy" honestly I think offhand at some stage in the past I told them I did talk about them in therapy when we were living together and they were unhappy about that so I think this was their wait to get my payback moment but I don't think it dawned on them how important in therapy it is to talk about our everyday people interactions. Its why it's important for us to stay apart anything I do I too much history attached to it initially or not, I haven't been a saint but nothing is able to be interpreted as intended and that hurts to know an I love you is a I hate you.

@Trickster. I can only agree with what @rav3n has already said. You've been through such an incredible amount throughout your life, yet you remain so caring and compassionate about your family and I doubt anyone could have done any better in your position, either for themselves or their family members. So be proud of yourself and continue to remember that it is important to continue to look after yourself as well. It's just so impressive what a level head you have and the courage you have always shown. Hopefully your sibling has some the same strength and courage you have and they can get to a point where they also want to repair the relationship between you both. Thank you for sharing your story.

i see what you mean, i had a similar situation where my mum was really angry and took it personally when i said i talked about her in therapy - she doesn't really understand that i can't talk to her about it so i need to talk to someone else in order to strengthen our relationship.

and you talking about your siblings in therapy will help your relationship with them in the long run, perhaps they'll understand that with time @Trickster

i can see you have good intentions, and hopefully soon they'll be able to understand that too. i guess its hard to see the good intentions when they've got some many underlying emotions that haven't been healed.

Dear @Trickster

Thanks for writing in. We so need people like you who just love their siblings. You have dealt with so much…….

Im so glad that @rav3n wrote this : they've got some many underlying emotions that haven't been healed.

Ive been in therapy like you, neurologists stuff from a major head injury and have permanent injuries. It’s like Im normal but then I start talking and It goes everywhere.

It feel like no one understands me. My siblings didn’t and unfortunately still don’t because they have gotten on with their lives and choices.

@MJG017a lot of what I'm seeing in terms of lived experience elsewhere emotion wise is anger towards the the RAD sibling and I guess for me because my PTSD symptoms did show up early and my parents did seek help for me because it was coupled with my epilepsy, they didn't know it was deeper or so tied to family history or it would take over a decade to and counting to ever diagnosis me. That early intervention I got, sorted a lot for me I'm a massive advocate for youth mental health and learning for parents about how to introduce mental health in everyday ways.

@rav3nI feel you there replace mum with sibling, it makes sense though my emotions road has been a long paved theirs only just begun taken some deep strides but puts up roadblocks soon after and I am learning I need to respect that even if it hurts I don't understand their journey exactly and that's ok.

@PeppyPattiit was a fantastic but of writing I might quoting @rav3n from here on out about that.

I think in regards to that as well as siblings and neurologist.

I think at least from my experience my siblings just get a bit "I don't know how to help" or "I have 1000 things going on in my own live I will try and read this thing you sent about your condition but most likely not"

It can be frustrating because my condition can rely on people to put me in the recovery position if they can't I can have a bad time or worse and they're the people I'm suppose to rely but I soon realised it doesn't matter I put in my effort I did my part can't change another person's effort.

@TricksterI certainly wish I had some idea when I was younger about some of the issues I have now. It's so much more difficult to change them now that they're so 'ingrained' so its very understandable that youth mental health would be such an important subject for you.

It must be so incredibly frustrating with your epilepsy that you rely on people so much to put you in the recovery position when needed but not having the confidence they know to do it and there's such resistance to learning more for your benefit. I think you can try to help people as much as you want but at the end of the day, you can't force them. So probably all you can do is take as much care of yourself as you can so that you're in a position to support them and receive support if they ever start to be more open to it.

Dear @Trickster

Hello @MJG017 @rav3n

Yeah but in my way of coping is to work out with my carer what exactly are your / my needs daily.

Can you wrote down fairly loosely- no pressure what your daily needs are ?

I go through phases of writing a notecards to my siblings every month just to write hello. Then send them slow mail

I wake up extraordinarily anxious. So --- it's good to walk to the coffee ☕ shop and sit and have a coffee. Relax. Learn to.

Come home clean up for an hour.

i have 4-5 things I want the energy to do.

And I work hard on this.