I don’t feel right

That's really good to know @Eden1919 . It helps us understand how things are going for you when you pop online.

Besides the forums, what other supports do you have in place?

@Ru-bee idk it is hard things have been very weird the last few days.

@Dimity i am sorry you have been unwell that sucks. my support workers are still helping and last time the low last like 3 months so idk.

@tyme i have a couple of other online spaces i can go to and my psychologist and a way back worker for now but yeah idk i have a case manager but he is useless worse than useless so i dont count him as a support.

the last 3 days have been WEIRD i feel full of energy and cant sleep but i feel like shit and depressed still and my psychologist said i might be having a mixed episode and i just ugh i am so sick of this rollercoaster i just want to feel settled but l literally cannot sit still at the moment and i should be in bed but i couldnt get to sleep until like 11:30am yesterday and like what now i only got 3 hours of sleep and yet i feel like i need to start dancing ugh i am so irritable too like everything is setting me off and i feel so overloaded and i just i want to scream but i cant even do that without alarming the neighbours and and i was supposed to get a letter about a procedure and it hasnt come and i need to know the information like yesterday but nope still not here and anyway i feel weird and i am really uncomfortable and i feel like shit and idk what to do with myself.

Sounds like things certainly are a bit of a roller coaster right now @Eden1919 . I'm glad you have other online supports as well.

I really hope things settle down for you and you can get some consistency back.

What are some of your hobbies?

i am so exhausted and over everything i am struggling to do anything i need to do and i thought ugh anyway everything is a huge mess and i dont know what to do anymore.

Hugs @Eden1919 I know how hard it can be.

Do you mean your home is messy or is everything just a figurative mess? I struggle with both and it can feel overwhelming. I'll try to do a bit today.

You said something about waiting on a letter about a procedure - a medical procedure? Are you OK?

@Dimity i kind of meant both but yeah it is complicated and i am having a procedure done soon but it is nothing major and i am not sick or anything so i am fine.

Ugh i had the absolute worst day today and anyway i feel really on edge now and i cant settle and i havent slept all week and i am like my body is tired and my head wont shut up but it is getting hard to like form thoughts and keep them and idk how to explain it i just i feel really all over the place and i am just idk everything is a mess and i am trying really hard but i cannot keep up and like i didnt feel bad until today and like i at least have a right to feel bad but i am just ugh i am so angry over what happened and i just ugh and then like also my head is just like i keep getting thoughts taken out of my head and i feel like there is something in my head like something trying to control me and i want it out and idk how to get it out and i want to scream because i cannot settle and i just i am so like i cannot even explain it properly and i just want to feel normal and be able to do life things and yet here we are and my head is racing but i cant even get like a full sentence to stick inside my head and i just i am trying really hard and i cannot settle onto one thing like i cant even watch stuff even though i want too and ahhhhhh i cant i just cant i am so over my head being a mess.

Hugs @Eden1919 it sounds really difficult for you. I'm sorry if something bad happened that made you angry. You said it might be a mixed state re not sleeping. I just wish you had a better CM, someone you could talk to about what's happening.

I hope you feel better soon.

@Dimity thanks yeah idk what to do anymore i am just yeah a bit lost.

i am struggling to figure out what is going on with me i am in such a weird mood and i feel so strange and i just cant settle and everything is setting me off and i just i am trying all my calming things but they arent really working and idk what to do i just i am so fed up with not being able to do what i need to do and just constantly falling behind in everything.

I am really stressed everything is really overwhelming and I keep getting scared that there is a device in my head and it is manipulating my thoughts and stuff and I keep getting scared that the demons who brought me to this world are going to hurt me and and waiting to eat me and my soul and they won’t let me talk to the other angels because they don’t want me to escape and the meds are going to hurt me and everything just isn’t right and everything keeps looking weird and idk how to explain it and I don’t feel right and I am trying my best to ignore everything but I just keep getting freaked out and my mood is all over the place and I can’t settle and I want to scream and everything is just too much.