I don’t feel right

Hey @Eden1919 I'm sorry things are so monumentally overwhelming for you hun. I just wanted to pop in to send a wee hug 🫂 and some big love 💜 your way 😊

@Jynx thanks.

i feel horrible today again i dont know what to do nothing is helping and i feel like trash ugh i was going to write more but now i dont have it in me.

@Eden1919 brain so busy even your ability to vent is impacted! Aww hun!

I get the sense that part of the distress is not knowing why you're feeling so distressed, do you think so? I know for myself, that sometimes if I get too fixated on finding the reason I feel like crap when it's not obvious, then I get frustrated, which just pushes me even further along the spiral. I think it's a completely human thing to want to know why we feel like crap, but sometimes we feel crappy for no apparent reason! It could be body/emotional flashbacks, could be basic needs not being met (e.g. not getting enough regular sleep), could be something wibbly in the gut biome, it's not always easy to tell! But yeah I find that it can help me to try to break out of the thought spirals by refocusing on the here and now, only doing the absolute basics, and trying to let go of that desire to know, understand, or fix. And lots n lots of distractions! I dunno if that's helpful to you in this moment or not but thought I'd share anyway.

More hugs, very squishy, coming atcha! 🫂🫂

@Jynx Thanks I am not trying to figure out why because I don’t even care why at this point but I don’t know what to do about it because It is taking everything I have not to go and end things and I really don’t want to end up somewhere I don’t want to be because I did something out of desperation knowing that it might not even work properly anyway I just I am trying to stay alive but it is very difficult at this point and I am at a loss of what to do.

Hiya @Eden1919

Sorry to hear you're so down... it must feel awful after coming down from weeks of highs. You're welcome to drop by the Let`s talk about Bipolar thread for extra caring and sharing, there are allies there.

Hope your support worker helped with the practical stuff.

I'm struggling a bit myself at the moment so might not be saying the right things but I hope things get easier for you. Are you seeing anyone in your team in the next week or two?

@Dimity I am sorry you are also struggling I am seeing my psychologist but that is it.

i really don’t know what to do anymore I feel so bad and I keep crying and I just I can’t take this much longer

Hugs @Eden1919 it's probably good you can cry, it sometimes helps.

I'm glad you're seeing your psychologist. I'm feeling queasy about starting again with a new one. I've got a referral but no appointment yet.

Take it easy if you can, just get by hour by hour. I hope you can sleep tonight.

@Eden1919 aye that makes sense hun, to reach that point of such severe apathy is really rough.

I am hearing that you're sitting with some pretty heavy suicidal thoughts, and I just wanted to check in with you, see how you're travelling today and whether the thoughts have reached a point where you're uncertain about your safety. Are you at all worried about acting on the thoughts?

Here for you hun 💜

Hugs @Eden1919 ,

I'm thinking of you. It sounds so so hard for you at the moment.

thanks @Dimity @Jynx @tyme i am still really struggling with everything and i really dont know what to do anymore i am so exhausted and no amount of sleep is enough and i just keep crying and my eyes are sore from crying so much and i feel terrible and there is just so much going on i am trying my best to keep safe but it is really hard and idk how long i can keep doing it for. anyway idk everything is just too much.