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creative_writerSenior Contributor
Having a history of SA, romantic relationships make me queasy. The idea of the relationship being central to fulfilling another person’s sexual desire makes me uneasy and makes me feel like an object. There may be people out there who are on the same level as me, but I feel most guys will want more than I’m willing to give. I haven’t ever been in a romantic relationship so I have no idea what’s expected
In response to: TW: Trauma and relationships
OaktreeSenior Contributor
@creative_writer
It’s great that you are finishing up your placement- well done. I hope that you will do something nice for yourself tonight. A little self care…
I am glad to hear that you feel more able to be yourself here. There are many neurodivergent people in the world and I am sure you will find some here. Stigma is terrible. I hope that you will start to find things easier in your world soon
In response to: TW: Trauma and relationships
JynxModerator
Yeah absolutely @Oaktree spontaneity and tomfoolery are terrific! And like, if your inner crazy isn't hurting anyone, I say let it all loose! Social 'norms' are all made up anyhow 😋
@creative_writer yeah big ND vibes for sure! And maybe that's one thing to look for in friendships in the future - that mutual understanding and solidarity, and similar conversational style, goes a long way! Obviously it would be unwise to say that friendship with a NT is impossible, far from it! But especially when you're navigating social anxiety, having that shared experience makes it all just a bit easier. Might help you in the process of unmasking, too 💜
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
OaktreeSenior Contributor
@creative_writer
Oh you sound similar to me. I interrupt people all the time because I am anxious to talk before I forget what I want to say. Its a bad habit. Also I can’t stand queuing. I am not a patient person.
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
JynxModerator
@creative_writer aye for sure, figuring out which social rules to follow can be tricky, especially when some are so ingrained in our social habits. I sorta try to figure out which ones are worth following (e.g. saying please n thank you) and which ones I can safely ignore (like sitting with your legs apart is... idk, provocative or something? And I found a 'list of etiquette rules' online that had, 'Never ask anyone what their job is'... like what? The rules don't make sense lol). In my opinion, as long as it isn't causing harm or distress for someone else, why not do it?
It's super hard not to interrupt people hey! I struggle with that a LOT. I think it's cos when I suddenly think of a thing I wanna say, if I don't say it straight away I'll either forget, or I'll be focusing so hard on not forgetting that I can't actually concentrate on what the other person is saying. Something that does tend to help me (within relationships that I actually care about and feel safe within anyway) is to first off flag with the person that I have ADHD, and let em know it can mess with my impulsivity. The other is, if I do feel like I need to interrupt (or I'll explode), I will acknowledge it, like: "Oh yo, sorry to interrupt, but that reminds me of x! Can we please put a pin to return to talk about x? Thanks bunches! Now, please continue with what you were saying."
Not only does it mean that I don't necessarily have to sit there trying to remember the thing I wanted to talk about, but it also lets the other person know that even though I have an ND brain that sometimes insists on interrupting, it doesn't mean I don't care about what they're saying. I've found the more I vocalise the differences (especially the ones that could be seen by others as rude), the more people are understanding and more than happy to accommodate. And if they're not... well bugger em off then 🤣
I'm off for the night! Catch ya tomorrow if you're about 💜
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
JynxModerator
Ooh @Oaktree see my above post!
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
OaktreeSenior Contributor
@Jynx @creative_writer
Hey guys, how are you both?
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
OaktreeSenior Contributor
@creative_writer
I am doing well.
Saw my new psychologist again today.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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