Unpredictable mood swings, depressed again

hey @D1ng0 hope things are going well for you. i recall you mentioning that Fridays are tough, just know we're here to listen and support you 💗

Hey @rav3n, thank you so much for asking, and for your other reply. I'm not feeling too great, but not the worst. Going to bed early. I'm pretty sad that my fridays are this boring, but it's taking a lot of effort just to clear the very low bar of functioning, so I'm trying to aim for that instead of being miserable about it. Easier said than done, but I'm giving it a go.

Actually had a pretty productive day. In a lot of physical pain though, so there's nothing left in the tank. So I'll say goodnight, and I hope you're alright too. Thanks again for asking how I'm doing.

lovely to hear from you @D1ng0 💙

sometimes just doing the best with whatever energy you have is all the matters - and if just getting through the day was the goal, then great job in getting through. there's other Fridays to come where you can perhaps plan something new/fun/relaxing to try out, there's no rush though.

glad you felt productive today, totally understand how draining that can still be both physically and mentally so I hope you rest up well, good night!! ✨

hey @D1ng0 just wanted to pop-in to say hi! hope this week's been treating you well 💙

Hey @rav3n, thank you for asking after me. I hope this week is being good to you, too.

I'm mostly okay... I got another new diagnosis recently, a physical condition rather than a mental one, but it's still a lot to process. After being diagnosed with bulimia earlier this year, I was kinda hoping the diagnoses would settle down, and my health would stabilise... That hasn't happened yet! Which is pretty exhausting.

But I'm still sober, I'm eating in a pretty moderate way, and I'm still employed. So I feel like, as long as I can maintain this low bar, things will eventually get better.

I'm pretty scared that I'll become very depressed again, so even though I'm doing alright, I have this anxiety that it's only temporary. Which probably sounds stupid, but it's always at the back of my mind.

Just popping in to say hi @D1ng0!!

Also, re:

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@D1ng0 wrote:

I'm pretty scared that I'll become very depressed again, so even though I'm doing alright, I have this anxiety that it's only temporary. Which probably sounds stupid, but it's always at the back of my mind.

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This is so normal my friend. It's the 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' feeling that often follows us through our recovery - cos our survival system has been on edge for so long, and it literally operates on habit. So habitually, you're used to having to be ready for things to be awful.

In time, the feeling should pass. I think sometimes it's just about providing a little bit of internal reassurance ya know? 😉

Hey @D1ng0 great to hear from you 😊

A new diagnosis definitely sounds like a lot to process, I can see how this must be really exhausting for you on top of everything else! I know you mentioned that you're trying to maintain the 'low bar' for as long as you can, but even that low bar is a lot of hard work and I just wanted to say that I see so much strength in you.

About the depression - it can sometimes be a bit of a cycle right? from my experience, recognising the early signs of when its about to hit and using the right coping tools have helped manage my depression much nowadays. it does take a bit of time, finding the right tools and trialling them out - but it is very very possible to manage depression so it becomes less anxiety provoking!

don't forget to keep taking things one little step at a time, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed - and keep celebrating those wins, big and small ones - they all will matter and contribute so much to the bigger picture! take care 💙

hey @D1ng0 just wanted to pop in to say hi, been thinking of you 💙

Hey @rav3n and @Jynx, thank you for the support. I've been all over the place, but am still kicking. It's been a struggle to talk about my mental illnesses, because I often don't know what to say, and I've withdrawn a lot lately. But regardless I'm grateful, so cheers for leaving me messages.

Hope you're both doing well 🙂

Of course @D1ng0 it's good to hear from you! I'm sure you already know, but I'll say anyway - there's never any pressure to come jump onnline if your energy needs to be directed elsewhere! Surviving can certainly take up a lotta resources hey.

I will say, it is typically good for us to externalise our thoughts, even in those moments we don't feel like there's much to say. If not here, my lil tip is one my mum told me about - called morning pages. Leave a pen n notepad beside your bed and first thing upon waking, just start writing. I think cos the brain isn't fully up and alert yet, it allows more free-flow thoughts and helps us get our brains fresh n ready for the day. I was honestly so surprised by how much would come pouring out of me! Sometimes it was just jotting down my whacky dreams, other times it would start out with 'Ugh I dunno what to write, I guess I'll just ramble about blah again and...' I'd often end up writing more when I didn't have something to write about! 😅

Anyway this is just some food for thought, you know your own needs and processes best!! Hope to catch you round whenever the stars align that way again 😊💜