Please help me

Hi @Jagger

I went from situation-based depression to clinical depression in 1993 & was finally diagnosed in 1994 after a couple of walks down suicide road. It took several weeks to find an antidepressant that worked. They made me tired, they made my eyes photosensitive (my eyes were extremely sensitive to sunlight) or they did nothing at all....... until I finally hit the jackpot. I thought about giving up on them at try number two but the thought of my family doing another intervention totally overrode those feelings. When I "did" find one that worked, I found that they didn't solve my problems but what they "did" do was lift the veil of fog I was surrounded by & enabled me to see clearly how I could solve my problems.

I'd love to say "the end" 😁 but decades later & more poor choices in life have meant that the journey continues - a change in antidepressants as I'd become too used to the others, plus an added antidepressant which works a little differently to the other - both on maximum dosage & about 3 years ago I discovered I'm on the autism spectrum & have been all my life.

It explains my past but going forward, I've got nothing & every form of therapy costs way more money than what I earn.

Anyway, hope this helps you feel connected by understanding. If not, I'm so sorry.

hey @Annie4747 welcome to the forums!

thanks for sharing your journey with us! it's great to hear you were able to find antidepressants that worked for you in the past. changes in our mind, body and environment can definitely make certain medications more/less effective, i'm sorry that this has happened to you.

i can see that despite cost being a barrier, you're working hard to reach out and that shows so much strength. so glad to see you in our forums 💗

here are some free resources/services you can check out if you'd like, i know they may not be able to help with the medication aspect of support, but talking to someone about it in the meantime might help you come up with alternative coping skills or even just give you a space to let out anything you've been holding in:

• Our Services - The Anxiety Recovery Centre Victoria (ARCVIC) has a range of services available
• BeyondBlue has counsellors you can talk to
• MindSpot is a national online and telephone assessment and treatment service for adults experiencing stress, anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, and chronic pain.
• eCentreClinic is free online treatment courses for people with symptoms of worry, anxiety, stress, depression, low mood and more.
• e-couch is a self-help interactive program covering depression, generalised anxiety and worry, social anxiety, relationship breakdown, and loss and grief

These are some interactive self-help apps/programs as well:

• moodgym provides interactive self-help. It helps you to learn and practise skills which can help to prevent and manage symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• myCompass provides a self-help guide to good mental health.
• Mental Health Online is free online services to help you understand and address your needs through self-assessment, self-help and, if you choose, online professional support.
• This Way Up provides clinically-proven online programs to tackle feelings of stress, anxiety, and low mood.

Hi @rav3n

Thanks heaps for your help.

Hi @Jagger

I’ve just seen your post and wanted to reply, but quickly

I have anxiety and depression too. We are all so different. I might not have the problems I do if I felt loved and had a sense of belonging.

You say you are loved and what a blessing that is for you. I do not have any family but I do have good friends - none of them live close by, which is so hard. Although they are good friends I don’t feel they love me like I would hope to have felt by the family I used to have - they were or are very distant in every way. I have been married and had another serious relationship but that didn’t work either. I love to feel and give love - as appropriate with anyone in particular I want to hug and kiss, cuddle, hold hands, express love verbally etc but with nobody close by I can’t do that.

I don't know how I would survive without my medication. I don’t like taking it either, normally I don’t even take Panadol unless a headache is really bad, but I have accepted that I really need it and must take it.

Hang in there and please don’t give up Jagger