my dear friends,
I had a really great night last night, i went to my mate's house as planned, except when i got there i was told we were going to another friends house..... Now i haven't properly spoken to this friend, and was not sure of my standing with him and his wife, both of who are quite close to my ex....
So i arrive there, his wife answers the door, and i can tell straight up that there is some definate awkwardness, general chit chat, nothing too meaningful, i admit i was feeling quite closed, but knew that i had my car if things got too buggy i could bail.
after a little i felt a bit more comfortable, but there was still that tension of the undiscussed, but feeling comfortable and ready to deal with what might come, i settled in a bit more and started drinking with my two mates ( i ended up getting fairly drunk )
So at about 1am, i am sitting with my two mates and his wife, and the questions came, we were all fairly boozed but not too stupidly, i calmly explained everything outright to them answered there questions, they told me that it was fcked what i did, but they also understood and upon hearing my side of the events they concluded that what she has been telling everyone is alot of lies with some truths and what i told them added up to be a lot of truth.
I also got the news which i already knew from my mate, he wasn't meant to tell me, but he has seen her and they had a big chat about alot of things, he informed me that she is seeing someone else, which i already pieced together who it is, and that she was seeing someone else.
it was very much a draining expierence, but definately worth it, my mates wife has alot of respect for me now and the awkwardness has gone, she has heard the story from both my ex and i and is ok with me.
They all made it very very clear that it was not right what i did
That if i ever did anything similar again that would be it.
but they love me and care for me and still want to be my friend
I don't expect any of my other friends will be like them, and from what i gathered from them a lot have already made up their minds on the whole thing.
I decided that as much as i want to know why she feels she can't talk to me about this stuff, i have to realise that i will probably never know. and i am ok with that
I have now told so many people about my plans to go travel the world, and the only response i have gotten back from every single person is - "That is a great idea, you should definately do it, clear your head, have fun, and see as much of the world as you can" it has been almost word for word from every person.
2015 - I will leave australia and begin my world travel, for as long or as short as i want, i will enjoy my life, i will cherish my true friends, and i won't dwell on the mistakes of the past. In regards to my Mi, it is what it is and the best i can do is manage what i can, i can't get caught up in the thoughts and feelings of the illness but work on building my drive and ambition to hopefully over ride the negatives.
Goodbye to worst year of my life
Hello to the beginning of a fantastic new start.
Thank you