Childhood trauma

Hi @Matty19901

Welcome to the forums

Thanks for sharing your trauma.

I have a similar psychological trauma.

I understand the damage that it can do that carries through to adulthood.

I am working with a psychologist to work through some of this. She is focused on anger at the moment. I don’t think I’m angry busy she seems to think so. I also have confidence issues and am a people pleaser. I am unable to stand up for myself.

I don’t know if I have been any help by this is part of my story. I hope you are able to see you are not alone.

@Captain24 thanks for letting me know I'm not alone but how do we get past things like this. I keep repeating everything again and again and it's getting to the point where I'm actually getting really frustrated and upset with myself for doing the same thing again and again seeming like no improvement. I've tried therapy but all they did for me was band aid solutions and not help with the problem itself

I honestly don’t know @Matty19901.

I have put boundaries in with my parents. I have to do a lot of self talk.

One psychiatrist wrote a quote for me ‘It’s not my fault, it was never my fault’. Self talk is hard but it does get easier with practice.

My psychologist has been brushing over the trauma as she thinks I need to heal the anger first. She has started to delve into it a little bit but it does hurt and leave me feeling very raw.

For me it’s just perseverance, I have gotten better with it over time. My self confidence is still really low and I am still a people pleaser but I do know understand what and am slowly learning to change it.

It has taken me over 2 years of a lot of work with my team to be able to start to see that I can move past it.

@Captain24 ok thanks anyway

Maybe I'm in the wrong place I really don't know what to do anymore

There is no easy fix @Matty19901. It all takes work and everybody’s journey is different.

Hi @Matty19901

Welcome to the forums. Sounds like you are going through a rough time.

Im 61 and I am currently seeing a psychiatrist regarding my childhood trauma commencing from when I was 9 year old and the impact it has had on the rest of my life.

As @Captain24 said, everyone’s healing journey is different. I am a people pleaser, have low self esteem/high negative self talk, trust issues, issues standing up for myself, when confronted I either withdraw or my bad temper takes control.

I currently am seeing a psychologist and have been for approx 1 year so far. One of the big things my psychologist acknowledged was my level of trust of and in her to be feel comfortable being open with her.

my psychiatrist has a different view on therapy options. My first appointment with him did not go well and I know only see him for my medications.

have you considered talking to your gp and requesting referral to different psychologist? I am slowly learning there are variety of different types of therapy available. I will be starting EMDR soon with my psychologist having told me that she is trained in other types of therapy if EMDR is not successful for me.

Hey @Boogie2988, thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts with the community here on the Forums!

It sounds like you are going through a tough time right now and it takes courage to talk about what is going on for us in life. You are demonstrating your strength and resilience by sharing with your peers on the Forums.

I just sent you an email to check in with you privately if you have time to check your inbox.

Thanks again for sharing!

RiverSeal

I totally understand were your coming from , my father was a narcissist, my siblings were also affected but no where near as bad I had it and have it. It’s affected my confidence, self esteem, my mental health and my ability to socialise Everyday is a constant struggle.
My advice is if you’re able to cut all ties with him, it helps, slowly but surely. It will take some time to get the result your wanting. Also find a councillor through victim support, this totally helps.