Tired of chasing for a child

Hi @ShazzR

Welcome to the forums.

I am so sorry that the journey for a child is so difficult for you.

Firstly well done on taking your meds so religiously! That is an achievement.

As for how you are feeling, do you have any supports? Could the hormones be affecting your thoughts?

Are you able to do something nice for yourself right now. Maybe a hot shower or a nice bath? Is there something you can watch on tv?

I know the feeling of everyone being a stranger. I have that in my life too. This is where the forums have been great for me. I am not alone. There is people who understand. There is people how have been through some of the same stuff.

I hope you find what you are looking for, there is a lot of support on here.

Your reply means a lot to me. I have tears. Just took a shower and yes may be hormones could be effecting the thoughts. I have my husband here with me. I talk to my sister every second day. I have help lines on the fast dial. Let me find something to watch on TV. Thank you again.

I’m glad you had a shower and it helped a little. @ShazzR. I’m glad you have family to support you.

Just a forum tip of you put @ then a pop up will appear or you can start typing in the user name and they will be sent a notification for example @Captain24

Hey @ShazzR ,

Thank you for sharing. I hear how long this journey has been for you. It sounds incredible challenging and potentially emotionally and physically draining at times.

We are grateful you have found us on the forums and that we've been able to connect.

By connecting, I hope you feel less alone.

Although i can't share personal experiences of going through IVF, I'm am wondering if hormonal changes as part of IVF plays are role in some of these suicidal thoughts?

I hear you have an amazing husband who is incredibly supportive, and you feel your actions are getting you closer to your dream.

It may be worth speaking to your treating team about having these thoughts to see if it is IVF related.

We are here for you, and will keep you company through your journey.

We look forward to hearing how things go (no pressure).

Hey @Captain24 , looks like we both thought of the same thing. I was in the middle of typing and it looks like you posted the same idea regarding hormones!

Why I say that is because when it's the time of the month, I've experience heightened suicidality, less-rational thinking, crying at the drop of a hat, irritability, anger etc.... @ShazzR 🙂 On the flip side, I go on a rampage with nesting behaviours and I clean the house, get rid of rubbish etc.

Hi beautiful human,

My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry that conceiving a child has brought you so much tribulation and pain. That must be so incredibly hard.

All you want to do is extend your heart and family with a child. It makes sense why you have this sense of 'life being pointless' and having no purpose. A big purpose for many women is being a mother and using our instinctive nurturing abilities to care for something outside of ourselves.

I'm sorry you are struggling with these thoughts and feeling. I can understand as I feel them all too well myself. It is wonderful that you have a long-term caring and supportive husband that is here to embark on this tiring journey with you. It's also okay that you feel he doesn't understand you. Sometimes men and women are different in that way....and that's okay. Our partners cannot be our main source of emotional fulfillment. Our cups need to be filled from various things (metaphorically speaking). And I'm just using my own perception, but perhaps that is why you do not feel fully fulfilled, because having a child would fill up more of this innate desire to nurture and fill your

"role" in the world.

Women have these nurturing qualities that we need to fulfill, so perhaps finding something else for the mean time that could fill this desire while you await your next IVF round/sort out adoption processes. It may also take away some of the rigid stress you may feel. Starting a garden and tending to the plants could be an idea, or just growing potted plants in the home, perhaps volunteering at an animal shelter or a zoo, or raising some baby chickens....Something of this nature that would allow you to feel a deeper sense of purpose and worth outside of yourself.

also, I'm not sure if you're already a part of some support group for women that go through these same struggles but perhaps joining a group like that might be beneficial for you. A place where you can feel more understood and have a deeper sense of connection with other women who get it.

here is a website I found that has more of a spiritual/holistic approach for women struggling such as yourself. This could offer a different kind of support 🌸

HOME – Earth + Womb (annecastles.com.au)

Women's Health Holistic Care | Woman Centred Healing in Brisbane

I hope this helps,

sending so much love

@Captain24 thank you for your tips.. I watched a movie with my husband.. I am much relaxed now.. I am glad that I have found this forum.

How can you see the city in my profile? How can I hide my details?

HI and welcome, @ShazzR ...I'm sorry for your suffering 😢

Just to reassure you, I clicked on your profile and I can't see a city.

Then I clicked on my own profile to check, and I can't see a city there either.

You are welcome to email team@saneforums.org if you can still see the city on your profile today.

I’m so glad you have your husband @ShazzR. A movie sounds nice. What did you watch?

How are you feeling today?