Edge of insanity: for real

In the past few years society twice drove me to the edge. It was an awfull and galling place to be. I was born with intergenerational war trauma, as a minimum spec. So am familiar with PTSD. My mind is sore nowadays, and at the moment it is easy to find my mind closer to this space. Should I be worried, or is there potential for permanent damage?

Hi @Stout

Welocme to the Forums, how does today find you. Life can be tough mate, just wondering if you have a support network around you and that you are in a safe place. Have you had a chance to speak with anyone as regards what you are going through. I know from personal experience that finally being able to talk to some one was such a load off my shoulders. I know the trauma will always be there, but to be able to share the load does help. Take care mate.......Asgard

Thanks Asgard. At 61 years I have learnt that PTSD and it's legacy never goes away, it sits and waits. In the past ten years my life has been destroyed. I hold resentment for the people who did this. I am safe now, have brilliant support workers, and so-on. Despite the royal commission, for me it is simply a pursuit. Until I can get my diagnosis changed, I hope.

Hey @Stout

Royal commissions only help so much…. Understatement… when we feel rock bottom

some people are looking at the spaces between so called normal and insanity … some see it as spiritual or shamanic

Eg Roy unger and CBTp…

not on good computer so can’t post links etc

Being hunted and held like an animal damaged me immensely. When compared with the 'normal' population I could be Compare with an enemy of the state. And treated as such, seclusion, tied up, injected. Held, accused in a show trial, etc. Recently. The normal ratbags don't get this treatment.

That sounds a harsh description I know. But I read the papers every day, gave evidence to the royal commission and am a big new critic of the mental health (?) system. Why? Try this: recently I was a guest of the King for one month. I was hounded in the skool yard by the imbedded Psychiatrist and team 19 times, making me look like a fool in front of all the bullies. Then, when I left skool, I was again grabbed and flung in the hospital ED. So I walked out. This wouldn't do they either thought, so yet another major man hunt was enacted where days later I was again in the ED trying to talk my way out. After two days this exasperated the resident Psychiatrist and nurses, where in five wardens physically man handled me, tied me down and injected me. Then they held me for the allowable limit. Then they went to the MHT in an effort to put a medical stop to my living, attempting to depot me on to the couch for the next forever. But IMHA stopped that from happening. Thank god. I have a saying: resistance to tyranny is futiles.

Hi @Stout 😊

I'm really sorry to hear about the difficult experiences you've had with the mental health system. It sounds incredibly challenging and distressing.

How are you doing now?

Thanks for the question LrH.

It has taken six months of veteran based intense trauma counselling to heal this time, from this terrifying stuff.

But there's more to it than that. A lot more. Some years ago now a psychiatrist sought to alter the universe by hunting me into the ward. His paranoid ideations assumed that by doing this, the beautiful government accommodation I had just received would be healed. But as we all know, this repetitive stuff is insane. Result was that a huge substance abuse problem overtook the location, and I subsequently lost this beloved place. I was held for quite some time, injected, was normal as the next person, but was traumatized immensely by the time I got out. This set in train repercussions still playing out to this very decade/day. Don't need to tell anyone about homelessness. And of course the usual suspects in a certain type of authority have in no small part, played their hand in these hunts, homelessness, stigmatization, exploitation and thuggery. But don't rest thinking that's all there is to it.

I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma and challenges you've faced @Stout.

It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's deeply unfair how you've been treated.

How are you feeling now after the six months of counseling? Are there any specific ways that have helped you cope with the trauma and find some stability?

Your strength in sharing this is truly admirable 🙂

Thanks for that LH

Yes, and more that unfair. They should be sued. As stipulated I took a deep dive into unpleasantness, near insane this time around. And if your wondering, I was camped in may car under a tree. Then I fund some previous support workers, and through Open Arms I managed to stand up. It was a hard fight. I was at the shopfront of the dark side. Near crimnool, and etc. The ded side was present and I had to struggle with the fact that I am alive, and so do the daily chores like make a phone call, eat, do a thing or two. The assailed brain did not want me to do this, however. But I did it anyway, no choice really. As for coping with the trauma, well that was hard. I couldn't ignore it off course, so just faced each day as it came. Also, my support workers have me moving between motels at the moment. So I do a lot of nothing. My favorite hobby is daybreak at the coffee shop with the papers. Being doing this for several decades. This is much loved by me. And the coffee helps me get grounded at that time, and dilutes my PTSD side effects. I walk one or two k's during the morning, from coffee shop to shop. I find just being in the hustle and bustle kept me grounded, as did the odd hello, the library (now) and so on. But I forced myself to stay on the couch as much as possible, sleep when it came, and drink heaps of herbal teas like chamomile and that. A decent support worker or professional councilor works every time.

Six months later, I am just about back to normal. Like any other person. My condition is mild, complex, and lifelong without change or deterioration. I isolate and alienate more over the years (why you ask).

In the past some years, the good news got out that I was a Psych patient. Later, and not that long ago I acquired my files through FOI. But these were stolen; and further good news escaped into the community. Imagine the psychosis this produced in certain circles. I wonder, are these state, or commonwealth files?