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Managing relationships

Just decided to prioritise myself..

Alice10Senior Contributor

Just decided to prioritise myself..

I’ve just decided tonight to break up with my partner. He changes within seconds and has a problem with alcohol. He frequently calls me terrible names, and I have been in “this place” with him over and over since we met over two years ago. I never even knew what gaslighting was, and I’m a very strong and smart person, but now I know two things.. 1. That everyone has the right not to have to be strong 24/7 because of what’s happening. 2. What’s happening is wrong. And actually 3. Just because he has good points and has had an abusive childhood, doesn’t mean I have to be with him and put up with things.

I joined this forum tonight because it’s late and I couldn’t go to sleep without “using my voice” in a positive way before resting. I feel like I’ve got a huge unknown mountain to climb now (tomorrow, etc) as whenever I mention breaking up he becomes abusive, but I have made a plan for tomorrow which involves gathering some support. Any brief words of support are welcome..

25 replies

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In response to: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Alice10Senior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Thank you @tyme Your words hit my heart and reached the fear in me. Thank you so very much. I will think of your post tonight as I face more b*ll***t.. thanks.

In response to: Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

tymeModerator

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Do you feel safe? @Alice10 Do you have somewhere to stay?

In response to: Just decided to prioritise myself..

AsgardSenior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Hi @Alice10

Well good one ye, we are all cheering for you. You are a strong woman and very much self aware. So good hearing the respect that you have for yourself in your words, its very empowering. You just need to be careful, do you have any close friends who you can go to. Good idea to maybe make your local police aware of the situation, just in case, so they are prepared. All the very best and good luck......Asgard

In response to: Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Alice10Senior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Hi @tyme no I don't feel safe. I'm going to ask some of my family today if I can stay for a couple of days and then friends after that. I hope this asking goes well, as I find it very difficult to ask. Thanks for asking the important questions. I tried to tell him it was over last night and he went berserk.

In response to: Just decided to prioritise myself..

AgentNew Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Wow Alice! Thats so inspiring to hear. Good on you love!

In response to: Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

tacocatSenior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Hi @Agent

I just wanted to send you a big welcome, and thank you for joining the community.

We hope to see you around the forums on the regular 🙂

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

In response to: Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

GlistenSenior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Hi @Agent 👋🏼 Welcome to the forum.

G

In response to: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Alice10Senior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

@Glisten hi G. Tough day. I'm going to see my GP tomorrow. I'm starting to get anxiety. I've booked a psychologist for Thursday as well. Thanks again for the post yesterday. Alice

In response to: Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

GlistenSenior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

@Alice10 coincidentally tomorrow I have an appointment with my GP. For a referral to a psychologist.

📣 keep going @Alice10 Keep going 📣

G

In response to: Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Just decided to prioritise myself..

Hello and hugs 🥰 @Glisten , @Alice10 , @tacocat , @Agent , @Asgard

Thinking of you lots my friends 🧡

How are you going today xx

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