TW: Understanding Self Harm

Absolutely get what you are saying @peps .

TW: Discusses Self-Harm

For me, when my underlying emotional state was in a better place, I found I no longer used self-harm as a way of feeling in control. Hence the self-harm feel away without me even trying.

Have a think about what may work in a helpful way and give that same feeling of being in control. eg going for a walk, mindfulness, ice bath, sensory gadgets, shakti mat etc

I look forward to hearing of anything you think of.

Today has been really hard. I've been struggling a lot with thoughts of self harm and I'm a bit of a loss of what to do next. I have spoken to a helpline which helped a little but it still feels like everything is a struggle. I had to take today off work I wasn't in any position to leave the house let alone work. I need to work tomorrow but not sure if I can. Has anyone had a lot of distress and self harm thoughts and managed to work without others noticing? I'm safe now I just feel stuck in all the thoughts and feelings.

Peps

Hey @peps I'm sorry to hear that things are so rough for you right now. I'm glad to hear that you've been reaching out for some support, and that the helpline did help you. I can understand the idea of going to work and putting on a brave face can be incredibly daunting!

Hmm... depending on the nature of your job (like, this would be harder if you work in customer service), you could still go but just give your boss/colleagues some vague reason - can be the truth or a white lie, like 'I've had some family issues' or 'facing some personal challenges' for instance, and then just not really talk to anyone too much. What sort of things are you worried about them noticing?

Sometimes it helps me to remember that what may seem blatantly obvious to us may not be so distinct for others. Most of us spend far more time thinking about ourselves than about anyone else, so the likelihood of anyone knowing what's up is pretty low.

Trust your instincts too - if you're really needing another day off ( and it's possible to take one) then it might alleviate some of the anxiety, which in turn should hopefully mean the SH urges will ease off too.

Hi @Jynx

I work in aged care so my whole job is interacting with people. I'm worried I guess of not coping ending up crying, dissociating, panic attack. Today the prospect was really overwhelming and I just had to stay home. It's been suggested to take another day of work but i'm feeling trapped into having to work. I've already had four days off this month so feel bad for taking any more days off. I also have no sick leave so would not be getting paid further impacting on all our money problems. The anxiety about going to work is high but feel like I should make myself. I'm also anxious of the sh thoughts getting worse and to a point where I act on them. I don't know what I can do to cope better.

Peps

Oh true @peps, yeah it's a bit tricky for those of us who work in caring professions. Knowing that others may be impacted by our decision to take a mental health day can make it harder for sure. And if taking the day off would create financial distress, I guess it's just about weighing up which path would result in the least anxiety. For myself, sometimes the dread is all concentrated to the lead up, and when I actually get into work the majority of it fades into the background. I think it's cos my brain goes into 'work mode' and just wants to follow its routine then. Perhaps once you get in there, it'll be much smoother sailing.

Hmm as for coping better - I guess there's two main things to look at - underlying causes, and coping tools. We've got some info and strategies here that could help you begin. Delving into the underlying causes can be a heavy task though, and might be better to undertake with therapeutic assistance. The coping tools though are like any skill - the more you use them, the more effective they become.

I hope whatever you decide to do tomorrow is the best course for you and your needs right now. I'm off for tonight but feel free to let me know how you go and I can check in with you tomorrow if you're about 😊💜