TW: Understanding Self Harm

Hey @peps ,

I SH'd for many years. It became an addiction. I wanted to stop, but couldn't.

TW: Self-Harm

When I got the permission to feel, I realised there were emotions underneath driving the SH. Before I knew it, the SH stopped by itself. I didn't have to try. And I've never done it since.

I wonder if it's not about STOPPING the thoughts, but working with them to consider what is driving them? @peps

TW: SI

I've never done much sh and I'm anxious now that I will do more. It's like I have only done something minor but i'm worried that my thoughts are leading to more. I also don't know how to deal with the feelings and thoughts about if it doesn't cause a lot of damage then I shouldn't be talking about it because it's not that bad. At the same time I want to talk about it but am anxious of being told I'm over reacting. I just feel really stuck and part of me worries what will happen if I do talk about it.

Hey @peps

Your post has made me think a lot.

Can you identify what feelings are causing the distress leading to these thoughts? And it is valid to talk about it even you feel that the scale, in your words, is minor at the moment. Part of the problem is that these behaviours can become ritualistic in nature, things can worsen quickly and from my personal perspective any sh is an issue.

@Ainjoule I have some trouble identifying what my emotions are. I think it all started with my CPTSD stuff. I feel like I'm at the start of sh so need to do something to stop it getting worse. I've mostly not acted on my thoughts but part of me wants to sh the other part wants to stop it happening and getting any worse. When I thought about it tonight I kind of felt a bit numb and not the usual out of control anxiety that normally causes the sh. It's like my head has all these competing thoughts about sh. I feel like if I don't actually act on it I shouldn't take up peoples time talking about it. I'm also worried what will happen if I tell people I have sh.

Hey @peps

Please don't feel like you have to act on anything, it's ok to talk about your feelings. They are valid. I would do one of two things: a) I would make a cup of tea, watch Netflix, maybe call Lifeline 13 11 14. or b) What I sometimes use to do if I felt like sh is I would actually go to the emergency department of my local hospital and ask for the mental health team. It's a wait but you would be somewhere safe.

Do you feel like you are safe tonight?

@Ainjoule I'm feeling mostly safe I don't think I will act on it but it's like my mind is thinking about the details of it. Trying to distract myself plus think about reasons not to act. I'm not sure how to explain the feelings I want to put a stop to sh before it goes to far but I also feel like I need to try it because what if it helps. I feel guilty talking about it because it seems like i'm just overreacting.

Hey @peps

There's absolutely no need to feel guilty talking about it at all.

Distraction is a great technique. There are some great headspace videos that do mindfulness on either Netflix or youTube. Here's one on youTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG7DBA-mgFY

They are short videos, so they don't take heaps of focus. Maybe give that a go and tell me how it went if you would like to? Otherwise maybe find a distraction of your choosing, and let me know how that goes?

Hi @peps @Red28 @Ainjoule , How are you all today? Self-Harm is a pretty big topic. Please feel free to reach out to us if you need added support team@saneforums.org

As difficult as self-harm can be, a lot of people experience it at one point of another in their lives. There is no judgement here.