Feeling so isolated

Welcome, @I_will_be_ok , I like your username 🙂

I am so sorry this happened to you. And that you have now been in an abusive relationship twice 😢

Also sorry to hear about your current psychologist and what he said to you! 😢

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Hey there. I know exactly how lonely and lost you feel - I also survived a coercively controlling relationship that almost destroyed me. Being manipulated by someone you trust has nothing to do with a lack of intelligence; anyone who would suggest otherwise has a compassion deficit and no understanding of how this kind of abuse works.

The psychologist sounds like a bad fit for you and your needs. It's ok to find someone else. The relationship between a therapist and the person receiving therapy is the most important thing that determines how effective the therapy is, so finding the right person for you is really critical. His approach might be great for someone else, but it's not for you.

The work to rebuild your life after this experience can seem so overwhelming. It can feel like everything has been taken away and it'll be impossible to ever get back on your feet again. But you can - you can even build back stronger and better, despite the damage inflicted on you. One little bit at a time, one day after another, one task of putting your life back together and then the next. You're free to do that now, in whatever way you choose.

Most of all, please know that you are not alone and there's compassion and understanding out there for you. Abusers isolate you, but you got out of this situation and you are now free to create and re-establish connections to people who will listen and support you. I'm one of them, if you want to get in touch 🙂

Hi @I_will_be_ok

I am so sorry this has happened to you and I am glad you have found your way out - eventually wiser for the experience

You do not have to look at it from the other person's view point - you don't need to hear your therapist's experiences - and other people laughing and criticising is an insult to you - something they could and should keep to themselves

It will be hard to get past - tough learning curves generally are - I am glad you have had the courage to share - you will not be criticised here

And it was not your fault

Welcome to the forum

Owlunar

Hello @I_will_be_ok yes you will be ok and yes you will recover your life. Don't say no. These conmen are very practiced and can even escape detection from psychologists. Its very hard for even trained psychologists to identify them, they may even be an enabler such a person in their own personal life putting other people at peril through their endorsement!

These people are called A-Paths, who provide strength and support to sociopaths and psychopaths.

Which makes me wonder why this psychologist should laugh at you. They tend fly under the radar with convivial personalities and are chatty and popular while the victim is viewed as an inconvenience or unreliable witness or even a liar to others.

Guess what? You can regain ground and start rebuilding. It can be scary and you may feel lost and life is desolate and barren but you will win. You woke up to this man while everyone has had the wool pulled over their eyes by this fraud. You will have your day in the sun.

Please watch this video. This is a free resource. This woman is highly successful she is 67 years old and does not look a day over 40, does yoga and looks a picture of beauty and health. No-one would know she had a history of abuse growing up at the hands of her family and later her first partner who was a domestic abuser. She was able to get her life together in the end and her life is flourishing

I hope you will be ok today but this is what these people do, its how they operate and they know how to trick and deceive as they have done it all their lives

Start planting seeds now and begin to heal. You can recover and you can begin to live life once again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISkH07jqWrM

@I_will_be_ok I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through and it's particularly difficult when people blame you for what this scammer did to you. I know it's no exactly the same thing, but I worked in IT and was familiar with a lot of the scams there, and people don't realise, until it happens to them, just how good these people are at what they do. Yes, there are a lot of lazy scams out there that most people would instantly see red flags, but the good scammers know exactly what they are doing and they are very, very good at it. Most of us wont see it until it's too late, so I think you're fully justified to feel they way you do about being called stupid. It just shows these people are completely ignorant about how these scams work. Even so, I hardly think this would be the time for the people around you to focus on whose fault it is rather than helping you to recover. I know what it's like when your hopes that family and friend would support you through a very difficult situation go unmet. It's a massive double-whammy!!

Your psychologist sounds... unhelpful. To say the least. I've seen 3 in the past 6 months and they all see to be the opposite. I sit there for an hour and go on and on while they will occasionally scribble something in their notebook. They make occasional comments and suggestions that really make me reflect on what I've been saying and I find that helps me in working things out. I would definitely be looking for someone else as well if I were you. Hopefully the next one is a bit more understanding and can really give you the support you need.

You do seem to have the right attitude though, so I think you're will placed to get through this in time, hopefully with a little more support along the way as well. You said he took your future, which I get, but he took one future. You now get to work on a new one. I wish you all the best.

Thank you so much for your well reasoned response. I resonate with everything you said. I really have nobody to talk to about it all for the reasons you know. I listened to people laugh at me and people calling me stupid knowing full well that if they're in that situation they won't have any idea what's happening to them. I don't understand their attitude at all. Everyone thinks they know it all and I was better positioned than most to keeping safe yet it happened to me. Pity help them if it happens to them as they are, as you so rightly said, so completely ignorant of what can happen. I don't want them to have to be in that position but I don't get the total lack of empathy. It's tough for me because I get used and abused for being an empath. Nobody reaches out to me. They think that the issue is over, but it's far from over. He was someone that I spoke to 3 times a week for all those years and I "loved him". It's a lot to be over. Again, people have no idea at all. Different memories come up for me and I've got to deal with them again and again. It's not easy.

You're right about my future, I am working on a real and new one. These people are putrid and they have to live without a conscience. I couldn't imagine anything worse. But he's rich and I'm not. Nobody has figured out I've lost a great deal of money, nobody is adding anything up and supporting me.

Thanks