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espritSenior Contributor
In response to: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
Hi @esprit,
I saw you have discovered Brene Brown on a different thread. She has inspired me a great deal. It's a bit funny but my first real posts on the forum were a bit like this one where I was reading and learning lots about shame, vulnerability and empathy. I had just finished reading her books 'Rising Strong' and 'Daring Greatly'. I still like very much of what she says, it speaks to me and makes sense. I love her honesty and humour.
When I first started to see my last psychologist she said that if she had to label me she said I was suffering from shame. It has consumed me all of my life from a child. Are you seeing a psych to talk through this stuff? It has helped me to talk about it but shame but still engulfs me too.
Welcome to the forums. I hope you find what you are looking for here. 💜🤗
In response to: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
Hi,
yes... i'm having a lot of difficulty dealing with shame, but im not really working on it very well. i've been working on the act stuff... but i just dont get it!
lj
In response to: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
@Former-Member same, i cant look at anyone when im talking about me... mi stuff/health stuff.
lj
In response to: Re: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
Absolutely me too @Former-Member, @Former-Member with looking in the eye, mostly when talking. Of an hour session I'd be lucky to make eye contact for 5 min. Luckily my therapist deals with it. I've had others who haven't coped with it and demanded it. Also been known to sit in sessions with my hair covering my entire face or putting my jumper over my face and hiding.
In response to: Re: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
I had a dr who refused to talk to me unless i looked at him and it was just awful, it did not help me hear anything he said and was the opposite, it just made me feel sick and stupid. i couldnt maintain the eye contact either and he'd stop every time i looked away.
oh well...
lj
In response to: Re: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
In response to: Shame and vulnerablity
Unknown userMember
In response to: Shame and vulnerablity
espritSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Shame and vulnerablity
ShimmerSenior Contributor
Wow @esprit, your revelation about the role of shame in your issues seems to have been a huge leap for you, how fantastic!
I agree with you that shame, self-criticism and self-blame keeps many of our issues going, which would otherwise subside. I believe developing self-compassion and self-worth is the antidote.
I'm glad you have found Brene Brown so helpful. I'd also recommend Kristin Neff, a researcher on self-compassion. Here is her website if you are interested - I noticed that she is co-facilitating an online workshop with Brene Brown!
You're right @esprit, it does take time to change thought (and emotion) patterns, but you've taken a huge step in developing this insight and committing to the journey. Keep us updated along the way 
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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