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Coming in and out of reality

QueenlithiCasual Contributor16 Apr 2024, 4:02 pm AEST

Coming in and out of reality

Hi,

24F with diagnosis of BP1, cptsd, bpd.

to give a preface my mum recently died in Jan and I’ve really been going through it. Late last year I decided to slowly get off my meds and I was doing fine until a few months ago. Now I’m really unwell. I don’t leave the house, the acute care team that I see say I’m paranoid and only put me on a small dose of AP which isn’t helping and I’m losing my mind. I am seeing numbers everywhere, having out of control panic attacks that make me feel like I’m dying (even with medication on board), I don’t talk to anyone, I have slept an average of 4 hours a night for the past three months and I can’t think or speak normal. I was just listening to a podcast and it was originally in English and then it sounded like they started speaking in another foreign language and I could hear weird radio scuffs. I am freaking out and all the anxiety tricks I’ve been trying haven’t helped. Idk what to do anymore

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In response to: Coming in and out of reality

JynxModerator18 Apr 2024, 6:18 pm AEST

Re: Coming in and out of reality

@Queenlithi I am so sorry to hear how hectic things are for you at the moment. I can imagine that it's incredibly frightening to have these disturbances, and it sounds like it's not something that feels familiar (like your mania), which would add a whole extra layer of overwhelm.

I am concerned about the fact that you mention having a few traumatic weeks coming up. Trauma anniversaries? Just curious, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But if you can think of anything the forums team could do to support you during this challenging time, feel free to let us know 💜

In response to: Coming in and out of reality

DimitySenior Contributor18 Apr 2024, 6:44 pm AEST

Re: Coming in and out of reality

Hi @Queenlithi @Shaz51

The battling can be tiring in itself. Showers and other grounding techniques are great - physical activity can also help me. Dunno if it's atypical but my breaks were mostly dark - maybe it's what they call a mixed episode. They seemed to happen when life stuff was happening.

Looking back I've struggled but I've come through. Some of the intrusive thoughts I now see as distractions I can let pass - my fear and resistance have lessened - perhaps because for me I now see many as arising from old cptsd.

I hope you can get the help and support you need for your life matters from your partner and maybe professionals - especially if there's legal, financial and admin stuff you have to deal with.

Sleep well. You've done the right thing in reaching out to the forums. When you have time there's social threads and hobby interests and other things to explore.

In response to: Re: Coming in and out of reality

DimitySenior Contributor18 Apr 2024, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: Coming in and out of reality

@Queenlithi another link Our coping toolbox 🧰 (this is the Lived Experience one)

In response to: Coming in and out of reality

tymeModerator18 Apr 2024, 9:32 pm AEST

Re: Coming in and out of reality

Hey @Queenlithi ,

I'm sorry that it's been so rocky for you recently. It sounds like you have been through a lot.

Please know we are here for each other and although we may feel like we are alone, there are others going through something similar.

We are in this together and want to support you through this. I'm glad you hear you've been able to sleep a little more.

Sleep can certainly affect us, then then the lack of sleep also affects us! It can be an ongoing battle!

Please rest up and hope to see you around.

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