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Uprooted and overwhelmed

Uprooted and overwhelmed

Howdy all, I've got a history of struggling with my mental health but found my anxiety worse than ever over the past month. I made a big choice (resigning from my job and trying to move back to Perth) because I thought it was the right call for me but I'm struggling a lot with following through. I'm also feeling a lot of guilt for what I see as dragging my husband down with me because he's supported me and come along on this whole journey.

I accepted a teaching job right after graduating in 2022 in a rural town at the top of WA. My housing and everything is tied to the job and while I had some big wins and wonderful moments of joy I also struggled a lot with feeling overwhelmed and being really hard on myself. I had some bad lows last year but the one that came on in week 6 of term 1 this year was the worst of my life and left me feeling quite unsafe because I was certain I was stuck and that triggered unsafe action where previously I'd only had urges. Despite setting ourselves up assuming we'd stay for 5 years I submitted my resignation on Monday because it was the only option I thought I could handle (rather than reducing my workload or trying to switch to another school). This means we have to get rid of most of our stuff and only keep what can fit in our car (which is salary packaged for bonus stress 😩) to drive down to Perth because I'm not eligible for relocation support. We had some luck initially with selling stuff but it's slowing down now and I'm having a hard time culling things knowing that a lot of it will likely end up needing to go to the tip because we need the house mostly empty to do our vacate clean and move. We have a place to stay lined up in Perth and I can kind of imagine building a life up again when we get there but the 2-3 weeks here decluttering and everything are really hard to wrap my head around. I'm trying to focus on one small thing at a time but I keep getting caught up in feelings of attachment to stuff I should let go of or worrying about other things that need doing. I've been doing my best to reach out for mental health support and it has been helpful at times but I'm just really struggling to believe everything will work out right now. Has anyone else made a big change like this where they had to start over fresh?

19 replies

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In response to: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Hearing you. No one can be put into a box and jus told you have XYZ.

So many factors are at play. Hence people need a team around them. I hope you get the support you need.

In terms of having a 'team' of supports, I think that's where area mental health was helpful for me. Within my team, I had a psychologist, consultant psychiatrist, social worker, peer worker, psychosocial worker...they would all have my files so I didn't need to repeat myself a million times. That's the part I don't like about MH - the fact that each time you see a new person, you have to repeat yourself over and over again.. it's tiring and can be traumatic.

It's really good to see you reflecting on things that work for you and being open to what you potentially need. That open-mindedness can be very helpful. @Radarears

In response to: Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

I'm not sure if area mental health is the same as community mental health (I'm in WA). I wish I had that don't just make up my own team and do my best. It is however heartening to hear that you are plugged into a team and that it is a cohesive and effective management aid. I'm also thankful to you for sharing. I have a swag of peer support with my physical issues and we all laugh lots and share things we find helpful and how to do things like tie shoelaces or manage buttons. Sadly mental health issues are not openly shared and as I said having uncommon disorders and therapies is challenging.

In response to: Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Yes, I believe area mental health and community mental health are similar, if not the same @Radarears

I'm in Vic metro, so the services are more available.

Good news is, I've been out of area mental health for about 5 years now. I'm in such a good place that I pretty much gave them the discharge date. However, when I look back, I'm continually grateful for all their support. They're not perfect, but neither am I.

It's really a miracle that I'm alive. A few years ago, I was on the brink of death due to my MH condition.

And yes, I found peer support and psychosocial support to be extremely helpful. It really gives a different perspective on life, and engenders hope.

In response to: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Hi @unown

Thank you very much for you honesty and for taking the time to reach out. Your acknowledgement that change is necessary, is an important step towards a more satisfying and heathy life. However, like most things change comes with its own challenges, which you have sensibly divided into doable bits.

Having been trained in career development, it seems to me that your communication skills could be applied to many vocations. What I am also hearing, is that your past role was impacted by events that took place outside of the school setting, which lessened you enjoyment in the role. A financial and career counsellor could provide practical support in both areas.

Beyond these considerations, prioritising your mental and physical health is sensible and provides you with a great opportunity to reset your career, whatever that might be. To this end, a good sleeping pattern, regular exercise, social connection, being open to new experiences and learnings, and taking the time 'to smell the roses' are proven strategies.

Lastly, I believe most people have difficulty in sorting the things worth keeping from that less valuable. In this regard, it might be helpful to consider what you have actually used over the last 12 months or so, and use this the basis for your decisions. Apart from things of sentimental value, 'stuff' is just stuff.

In response to: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Hi @unown

Thank you very much for you honesty and for taking the time to reach out. Your acknowledgement that change is necessary, is an important step towards a more satisfying and heathy life. However, like most things change comes with its own challenges, which you have sensibly divided into doable bits.

Having been trained in career development, it seems to me that your communication skills could be applied to many vocations. What I am also hearing, is that your past role was impacted by events that took place outside of the school setting, which lessened you enjoyment in the role. A financial and career counsellor could provide practical support in both areas.

Beyond these considerations, prioritising your mental and physical health is sensible and provides you with a great opportunity to reset your career, whatever that might be. To this end, a good sleeping pattern, regular exercise, social connection, being open to new experiences and learnings, and taking the time 'to smell the roses' are proven strategies.

Lastly, I believe most people have difficulty in sorting the things worth keeping from that less valuable. In this regard, it might be helpful to consider what you have actually used over the last 12 months or so, and use this the basis for your decisions. Apart from things of sentimental value, 'stuff' is just stuff.

In response to: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Hi @unown , that sounds like a big and stressful situation! Moving is difficult at the best of time but having to get rid of most of your stuff and having a lot of your finances related to your job that you're leaving makes even more of an impact.

What are you looking forward to about the new job? Are you excited to live in a capital city?

In response to: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Yes I have had to do this lots of times...don't worry too much as things tend to fall into place bit by bit, and you slowly rebuild in the new location. It is good to travel light- makes you less dependent on material things...it is actually a really good learning experience for life.

In response to: Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

@Minkie-Rose

Thanks for your perspective, I do think it would be a good idea for me to see a career counsellor when we've settled. I had a friend come over and help me cull my books (something I knew I'd have a hard time doing!) And I was able to pass a few things on to her that she really wanted so that was nice.

I'm trying my best not to get stuck feeling sorry for myself lying in bed in the mornings but my sleep schedule is definitely out of whack. I've started using the 'opposite action' strategy to get myself started and am finding it pretty good. I've been pleasantly surprised 90% of the time by how things turned out when I've made myself do the thing despite my worries. I'm going to keep cutting things down into smaller chunks because I'm still feeling overwhelmed most of the time by all the stuff that needs to be done but we are making progress bit by bit. It's getting easier to believe we'll be okay/figure everything out each day.

In response to: Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

Re: Uprooted and overwhelmed

@Jasper_123Neither of us have a job lined up which is a big part of my worrying. We have been able to get some savings together and the people we'll be staying with are aware of our situation and still happy to help but that uncertainty around income is really daunting. I should be able to do relief Education assistant/admin work in schools to start with but I think my friend made a good point last night when she suggested I give myself at least a week to find my feet again before getting back into work just in case rushing into it overwhelms me and I stuff up the first job, giving me more evidence I'm not capable and psyching me out of working.

There are a few things I'm looking forward to about living in Perth again, I miss the weather and being able to get around most places using public transport. I also miss my family a lot, particularly the nieces and nephews. I feel a whole lot of shame around this and was nervous about telling people but everyone's been really supportive so far.

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