beyondlost478Casual Contributor
Unsure of where to go or what to do
Hello all, I guess I am looking for advice on how to cope with my mental health whilst caring for someone. I do not know how to word this so I am just going off by what is going on in my head and hopefully, you all who read this will be able to make some sense of it. A bit of my background, About the last year ago, I recently took up the sole caring role of my father who has dialysis and is amputated foot but he is not bedridden and still able to live a full life just with limited mobility. To come to this I had a mental breakdown after the loss of my mother (who was my best friend and I was her backbone since my birth). After my breakdown, my father offered me a place to stay after I had to give up my employment and flat due to suffering with grief and health anxiety of my own. I jumped at this offer in hopes that I could live with him and that we could work on mending our lost relationship for the last 20-plus years. Now, since becoming his carer, I jumped in the deep end with no training in what a carer is supposed to do and I suppressed my grieving and own mental health and done everything for my father, I have done everything as if he was bedridden and only to realize this through a conversation with my cousin through a phone call catch up (who had experienced caring for her mother) that a carer was supposed to be there to support the person to continue to be independent and that I did not have to everything that my father was able to manage on his own around the house like get his dinner (they were pre-packed by Lite N Easy), having a bath (with the watch of me whenever he needed help to get in and out of) and every time he calls my name I would be a yes man, jump up and do whatever he asked. Just over the last two months, with the discussion with my psychologist, I was depressed and isolated myself at home. I felt like I HAD to be at home to be with my dad just in case something was to happen. I stopped going out into the community, stopped visiting my family and friends, and stopped doing the things I like to do as I would have the fear of missing out on something and focused all my time and energy on him. I guess, what I am trying to get at is I feel more like a carer than an actual son. But also, with my father not being bedridden but with limited mobility, is it harsh for me to say no from time to time when he asks me to do things when I know he is capable of doing those little chores? and what is a carer role all about? I know i could google these questions, but I would try this forum to hear from real stories and ideas.
