an honest discussion (tw suicide)

Hey @Eden1919 ,

Are you able to confirm if you are safe for now?

It's important to confirm your safety when posting on the forums so that other members do not feel triggered.

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now and you weren't able to speak to someone last night.

Do you think you can speak to someone tonight?

@tyme i just tried to talk to lifeline again but they are still too busy. i am trying my best to be safe.

Hey @Eden1919 , what do you mean by they are too busy? Do they hang up?

Have you tried Suicide Call Back Service? 1300 659 467

Hi @Eden1919

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that tonight is difficult. I am here to say that I'm thinking of you. I'm hoping that tomorrow will bring you closer to the answers you need, to the right supports for you.

Keep reaching out. You're not alone x

To the OP:

Add to whether you should be here or not, only you can make that decision. I'm different from most people you'll find here, in that I do endorse euthenasia for mental health reasons, but it needs to be a considered decision in a long term situation after you've exhausted all treatment options... Definitely not a solution for acute mental illness or an impulse decision! It's quite possible you have a treatable mental illness... You haven't said anything about treatment you've tried... ECT? TMS? As well as the oodles of medication and psychology options... You need a good psychiatrist and psychologist if you've got a hard to treat illness.

Even though I support euthanasia for severe psychiatric illness, very few people would qualify, or even want it - most people can be supported to create meaningful lives. Suicidal ideation is usually transient for most people, almost everyone changes their mind! I know it's hard to think about at the moment, but suicide is utterly devastating for the people left behind, although you may not feel like the support you're getting at the moment is making a difference. It's hard to say more without knowing about your situation, but it's more likely that you have a treatable psychiatric illness, that what you're experiencing is temporary. I know it feels like it'll go on forever, but that's the lie, things will change, your life may be unrecognisable in a few months let alone years.

Chat to your GP about how you're feeling and where your management is at, they might help you to explore options. There's Alt2Su groups around - alternative to suicide - which I think are really helpful peer led groups for people feeling suicidal, I came across some zoom ones recently so they might be an option if they're not running in your location. I'd do them if I was in that kind of a space, I genuinely think it's worth it.

Suicide truly is a last resort, I can understand why it appeals, but too many people get hurt by it, usually it's a long term solution to a temporary problem that devastates the people that care about you. There's usually hope, no matter how bleak things look. I've been in some torrid places in my life, and I couldn't imagine that I'd get to the other side, let alone do as fantastically well as I am doing, and it's likely you'll be in a similar position, if you hang in there, and keep on getting help. Take care.

Hey there @Eden1919 💜🌺

I’m so very sorry for the delay - I have had some health changes which have taken a couple of days to adjust to.
How are you feeling?
I do understand how hard it can be when the list of reasons becomes overwhelming, and how hard it is to deal with the distress 😔

please know you have people here who really understand, know these same feelings, and have taken each hour, day, week, and month, the little steps it takes to feel better in some way 💜

I myself know how incredibly hard it is to do that, having returned from that same precipice myself. I know that same harsh feeling of hopelessness, and I want to gently say that I hold hope for you, space for you, gentleness for you, respect for you and what you’re going through, and I kindly want to remind you of the value I see in you that is hard to find in yourself right now 🙂💜

I know how hard it is to connect with crisis services - they often have long waits or can’t answer… I wondered if you have anyone you trust who may be able to sit with you and work out a plan of things to do when things become difficult or overwhelming?
I know it may not be significantly effective to use distractions like tv or books or developing a hobby, however sometimes it can be just that little thing we need in the moments before things become too much, to help us not feel as bad..and any help is good help when it can give those little bits of emotional and mental respite that we need 🌺💜

I want you to know that I sit with you in your space of distress and overwhelm without fear or discomfort, beside you, holding and acknowledging the pain, and holding hope 🫂🌺💜

PinkFlamingo 🦩

Sending you some huggles today @Eden1919 I'm sorry it's so hard. Hope you're staying safe hun, we're here for ya 💜

Hey @Eden1919 ,

Thinking of you. Hoping things are a little brighter.

We are here for you.

thanks everyone i am still really struggling i had an appointment with my psychologist today and she wants to contact the public team crisis people to let them know how i am going but i doubt anything helpful will come of it i dont think there is anything left that can help me if i am honest i just want to go quietly and not bother anyone with trying to "save me" i think i am a hopeless cause at this point. anyway i wont bore you all with the details of my silly existence. i am going to try and watch some netflix tonight and see how i go with that.

Hey @Eden1919,

I am so sorry that everything is so difficult at the moment

I'll send you an email, please respond to that ❤️