JlolSenior Contributor
Justice system is not just
F**k life!
I've posted here a lot about my struggles about getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Well, the justice system - which one would thing would at least attempt to be fair - has screwed me too.
I left my psychologically abusive partner 6 months ago, on the pressing of a trauma psychologist. For the record, we are not married, have no children, shared housework evenly, and are on just about the same incomes (actually, she earns a tiny bit more than me, but whatever).
Since then, I have been couch surfing. I've still paid my share of the mortgage and bills because that's what I signed up for and I feel obligated to honour that. However, that has meant I have not been able to afford to rent anywhere else.
After talking to my ex-partner a number of times, I made her an offer to buy her share out of our house. I did due diligence and contacted 4 real estate agents who gave me an appraisal of what they thought the property was now worth. I worked out the average of these appraisals. I downloaded all our bank statements since the purchase of the property and added up who contributed what. It turns out, on average, I contributed about 60% more to the mortgage repayments and running costs of the house (bills, rates, groceries, etc).
I also discovered that she had ceased contributing to the mortgage and bills months ago. She had in effect been living in our house for "free" whilst I was essentially homeless.
However, to encourage action and make my offer more palatable to her I offered to put her out at 60%. She would get 20% from the sale of the property than she put in.
Well, she rejected this offer, and demanded 80% instead. At this point I contacted a few lawyers. I thought "Surely they can provide a clear letter to her with the bank statements showing that I was entitled to 60% of the property. Surely this will make her reasonably accept my original offer". Nope. Both lawyers I talked to said that, in a relationship, all assets, including your savings, the value of your car, even your f**king super, are pooled together and distributed evenly. Further more, they both said the cost of going through mediation, then court, as well as the costs of the lawyers them selves would be greater than what I would lose if I paid her the 80%. They also said this could potentially drag on for years, all the while my ex can legally not pay mortgage, because the contract includes us both.
So, I caved. I offered her the 80%. She would get back twice the amount she paid into the mortgage. She would get twice the amount she is owed from the increase in value of the property. And, she gets to continue living there for free whilst I still pay her cost.
How is this just? How is this even close to fair?
This. This is why I hate living. I HATE it so much.
