Where Do You Get Help?

Hi @Snowdrop,

it's so good to hear that forums like Sane are helping you. Please feel free to keep writing about whatever you like. There is always someone here on Sane that will be reading and replying. I have found the forums to be a great help on my own journey towards improved mental health.

As for seeking formal help from a psychologist- it's a good idea and one that I hope you can pursue. Try to book a double appointment with your G.P. so as they can sort out a "Mental Health Care Plan" for you. You can then be referred to a psychologist for 10 free sessions that are covered by Medicare. Some psychologists charge over and above the Medicare rebate- so be very specific with your G.P. and ask for one that is fully covered by Medicare.

I would also ask for a referral to a psychologist of the age and gender you feel you can most relate to, but that's just me..... unfortunately, I really don't see myself telling my life story to a male in his 20's, but again, that's just my personal preference. I know many people here on Sane have felt that they have been referred to a therapist who doesn't really suit them.

As for friends.... it's a tricky area, because even a very close friend might not understand MI and know the right things to say. Not that there really is any 'right things to say', but I hope you can catch my drift.

Kind words can only go so far and you usually really do need to talk to a professional if you have mental health issues.... not that I am an expert; I can only advise you as a fellow patient.

For me, talking with the professionals was a great help. Friends and family tried to help but they absolutely had no idea what I was going through (and still don't) and so said things that were unhelpful.

Is there anything else you would like to talk over, @Snowdrop?

love your humour at the core of christian thinking @Former-Member

Good Luck @Snowdrop

Maybe you have been seeming to cope very well that your GP has not suggested the Mental Health Plan sessions.

I cant see why they want to charge over the Medicare amount .. it just seems plain greedy to me.

I personally don't have a mental illess/issue (not sure what the politically correct term is nowadays 🙂 )

I am stressed - yes! But my stress is my inability to know how to help my son.

My stress is being frightened that despite the positives in his life there will come a time when the negatives just get one too much.

My stress is trying to help, but at the same time being frightened that I may say the wrong thing, and because of his nature, he will cut ties and then have no-one.

My stress is the worry that I am going about this all the wrong way, that in trying to help I am in fact either hindering or making things worse.

Are his siblings correct in that his depression is caused by his 'sense of entitlement', or am I correct that his 'sense of entitlement' is a symptom of his depression.

I wish I could just deal with each issue as it comes along rather than worry about his lonliness and depression, his feelings of why me ............... often caused when he has tried to get something right and it has just gone pear shaped. I know this happens to all of us and he also knows this. I think the trouble is that there are so few 'ups' in his life to balance the 'downs'.

I know that some people may read this and wonder why I think I have problems - and I do willingly acknowledge that there are many many people who are so much worse off than me.

I have my faith which helps me in many ways ......... but seeing my son suffer. That is hard and my faith doesnt always sustain me when I hear him crying.

Books - I'm up to my ears in them - but I will note those that have been suggested to me.

I'm well aware I am asking for the impossible when I look for an answer. Even in my heart of hearts I know that the only answer is to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

But it doesn't hurt to keep looking - someone may have a clue that will help things even slightly.

And yes, in the absence of someone to talk to, I do find it helps to write my thoughts and feelings down. Maybe the answer is within me.

As a mother, well, I think we would all prefer to suffer ourselves rather than see our children in pain. A natural mother reaction I think.

A Happy New Year to everyone. On a personal level - lets hope its better than 2016

Regards to all.

Dear Snowdrop,

Happy New Year to you too! Let's hope it is better than the last one. Have you visited the Carers Forum here on SANE? You might find some people who are dealing with the same issues you are. By the way, depresion is an illness. It is a medical illness which is treated either by medication or "talk" therapies such as counselling or psychology. It is worth asking your GP for a Mental Health Plan which gives you ten free sessions with a psychologist.

You must be a very caring person to think of wishing others a Happy New Year when you are in such a complicated situation. Mental illness is such an awful thing to deal with. I just want to tell you that I have had bi-polar disorder for 47 years. Sure there have been bad times,but I have managed to have a fulfilling life despite the illness, so please look forwards to a happier future and better times ahead

Ellu

@Snowdrop,

personally I feel that talking to a psychologist might be a great help to you. You don't have to have a mental illness to seek the help of a psychologist. Plenty of people go to see them and talk about everyday issues that they need clarification with.

To have medicare cover this cost, you will need to get your doctor to do the Mental Health Care Plan, but I think it's perfectly valid to do the Plan for "situational stress" or something like that. You don't actually have to be sick.

If stress continues for a long time, you can go on to develop mental health symptom, so obviously your doctor would want to intervene and prevent this.

I'm sorry that I assumed you were unwell... it was probably just the reference to you calling lifeline that made me assume you must be unwell.

x

Thank you for your kind replies.

Sahara, it didn't bother me that you thought I was unwell - I actually suppose I am, as stress is - well stressfull! I rang lifeline because I am trying to make whatever contacts I can to gain any help I can.

Now - Question!!!!!!

As you would know my son did not come for Christmas because his siblings were here and he wont be in the same room as them. I sent him a Christmas Food hamper for christmas (of items I had bought myself and packed and posted), so that even if he was on his own (which he was), he would be able to have a Christmas meal. I received a text to thank me - he did't want to ring in case his siblings answered.

This morning I sent a text at about 5.00 am saying Happy New Year (of course knowing he wouldn't be up). I received a call at about 2.00 saying he had slept in as he had been at his 1 friends place for New Year's Eve. I told him that as I would be in Brisbane in mid January I would come down and visit him. He said he didn't want me to, his place is a mess, he would get stressed with trying to clean it while he is also trying to work, its only small, another suitcase and person to fall over etc.

Later talking to my daughter I relayed this and she said that she felt I should just book to go there for 2 nights, and then just before I get on the plane I should just text and say that although he may not feel the need to see me I feel the need to see him. If he then decides not to want to see that is totally his choice and I can do some window shopping etc for the 2 days (I'm self sufficient enough to look after myself - I might sound all to pieces when it comes to my son's MI, but in all other areas of my life I'm capable of doing what I want when I want - if you know what I mean).

She said that if the worst ever happened with him, I would at least have the knowledge that I had gone and tried to see him rather than thinking that I should have made the effort.

This makes sense to me. What is the worst that can happen? that he can tell me he doesn't want to see me and then give him a mouthful because I went against his wishes. That would be upsetting but is something I could cope with. On the positive side is that if I am there at least we may get a meal together.

I know what I think I should do and what I think I will do - but am interested in thoughts of others. Some of you have probably lived through or are going through similar issues and may have a different slant on things.

And re the Happy New Year - well the one thing I have from my dad is empathy. When I am in pain I feel it in others, and knowing that someone saying Happy New Year (or similar) would make me feel someone cares - I try and take the time to pass this sort of wish on to others so that they also know that someone cares (even if I don't know them - I care for anyone in pain).