D.I.D....

How are things going @Smc ?

hello and hugs @Smc

how are you today and how is your family

@Former-Member, @Determined

Thinking of you here also @Smc

Hello all.

All's basically quiet. My Mum and Dad are tracking steadily. Older Daughter has had some medical-ish issues, but the no-SH run has continued. Given that is one of the more disturbing presentations of her MI, that is a huge relief for us.

She did ring up a few days back and told me she'd been battling a SI the previous night, and the way that brought up my stress levels/sent down my mood brought home how much this matters to us. A lot of the other stuff we can deal with or adjust to one way or another, but I don't think it's ever possible (or desirable) to normalise the life threatening behaviours.

She's still looking for a rental that she can move into on her own, has applied for some but hasn't had any acceptances yet. This has been part of her motivation to stop the SH- the fact that repeated ambulance and/or police attendances could make her an undesirable tenant. Some of her rental options have looked do-able, some were not at all practical. (Both a small but locally important heritage listed cottage and a room in an aged care home were ones I talked her out of. For very different reasons.) She's been checking with me about the assorted options, and I've been looking them up on real estate pages plus Google Earth and talking through their pros and cons with her. And bit by bit we're finding "missing" bits of knowledge, such as filling her in on the need to have money for connection fees for services, and the fact that, in all fairness and for practical reasons, she may need to be paying rent for two properties for a brief time.

On the topic of "missing" knowledge- she's coming around to the idea that an autism test may be worthwhile. The $$ is an obstacle though. It's four figures, and doesn't tend to attract a medicare rebate due to the therapeutic options being mostly centred around kids, not adults. Logic being, if a test doesn't lead on to treatment, what advantage in funding it? So she'll make enquiries, and we'll feel our way forward from there.

Meanwhile in this relatively quiet space, I'm trying to reclaim some of our household chaos. There's all sorts of maintenance/improvement jobs that can't currently be done because there's too much clutter in the way, and I sooo much want to start making some headway!

@Determined @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope ...

Have just gotten off the phone from taking the plunge and ringing our official state carer support site.

We were registered with a carer support agency years ago, while Older Daughter was still living at home. When she moved out, and I lost my official "carer" status, we dropped off their list. And there's been all sorts of changes in the interim, a few one off carer support related visitors and stuff, but because she's officially self managing, we've been "off the radar". And we haven't had the energy to go chasing for support.

So, the lady on the phone was honestly very nice and supportive and empathetic, and she's passed on my details to the local carer support provider, but I'm feeling kinda yuk now. Simple questions like what's our daughter's diagnosis were impossible to answer, because she scatters all over the DSM, with "characteristics" from several different diagnoses. (And her long-time-ago diagnosis of DID actually looks fairly unlikely by now, so this thread's title is a bit misleading...) But she needed to tick some kind of "diagnosis" box before passing on my details.

And then the question of what kind of help was I wanting. Ummmm ????? We've spent so long either winging it alone or getting our own supports into place (psychologist... SANE forums... understanding friends...), and also the thing that we've been the ones giving help. So I couldn't find an answer for that question either.

Sometimes the support we've needed has been advice in really critical, life threatening circumstances. Sometimes it's been needing someone in the middle of the night who might be able to step in when Older Daughter's been refused admission into the psych unit, but she's in a really bad state of mind. Sometimes it's just been the simple thing of how do we get a few days break when, despite being physically hundreds of k's away, we're as close as a phonecall in a crisis... and bang goes the respite. Sometimes it's been the problem of not being able to be in two places at once when my parents have needed us there, or when a crisis has blown up while we're up at their end. Often it's been the difficulty of trying to get breathing space for our Younger Daughter so she's got some vague possibility of passing into the next year level in school. Couldn't think of any of that while I was on the phone though.

Hate running into those mental brick walls, brain just closes down and doesn't want to play.

Thinking of you @Smc

She broke her "no SH" run last night. But she went a bit over 13 weeks. Hoping she can pull back out and not return to the old compulsive pattern.

@Smc 🙏

@Smc 🙏

@Determined @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope
Hospital presentations are continuing, both for illnesses and for SH. Unfortunately, each may be exacerbating the other. When she went in with what turned out to be a genuine physical problem, she was given hospital grade pain relief... and it seems such medications may lower her resistance levels or increase her dissociation levels, or some of both, so she was back later that day needing repairs.

Am concerned that she's calling on a long time family friend frequently for transport. Am trying to get in touch with said friend to chat about setting boundaries. Said friend is very willing to help, but I don't want to see her being leant on all the time. 😞