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I'm so sorry to keep leaving the forum and coming back. Yes I need you all and I need this forum.
If I had to put my last year in one word it would be CONFUSED. Never in my life have I made so many irrational decisions or spend such an amount of time staring, not even knowing what to think.
its awesome to have you back 😊💜. I can relate to some of what you said. The other day I was busy distracting and feeling ok until I had to enter the real world. I walked out to the car and looked at my keys and just stared at them. I couldn't remember what key or how to unlock my car. I have lots of examples of this. Most days I all down in the real world somewhere.
You've had such a rough year, it is still one foot slowly in front of the other. One day I hope to find I'm walking without thinking about putting one foot in front of the other.
catch ya around 💜🤗
In response to: Flower confused & back
Unknown userMember
Re: Flower confused & back
Good morning and happy new year!
I can hardly believe the difference between myself 1, 2 or 3 years ago and now.
I am starting to try and focus on the positive changes especially the last year has brought to my life, living more mindfully, slowing down, questioning things, confronting some of my past and especially finding new things to enjoy and making new friendships!
Letting the mask go down just a little and then a little bit more is revealing more of me than I have in years or decades. It's a very hard process and I am by no means at the end or close to the end of the inner battle but lately I try to focus more on the positives of my experiences and I think that will make all the difference.
I battle with my daily mood swings and the times when I feel I don't want to be here - but I am constantly working on developing strategies to counter and surf my urges. I know the meds make a big difference and I have stopped questioning when I will get off them and when I will be normal again - I try to stop questioning what normal is / was / means to me. I try to be curious about how my life will change further this year instead of dreading the impact of more memories surfacing.
I know my next post can be the lost, confused or desperate one again and I know that is ok. It's ok not to be ok.
Have a good day 🙂
In response to: Re: Flower confused & back
HeartSenior Contributor
Re: Flower confused & back
Hello @Former-Member, Totally love what you said in your last tread as that is most of that is what I have been struggling with for the past few weeks.
Hugs to you.
In response to: Flower confused & back
samt31Senior Contributor
Re: Flower confused & back
two years ago i was hospitalised for 6 months which is along time. talking to the crisis helpline could help you. if you are feeling stressed about going back to work dont go back until your ready. if money issue is what is cuasing you to go back you can always talk to centrelink and they maybe able to help if you don't have enough leave to cover you. i hope this helps. but i talked to them on two occasions now iam stable and haven't been in hospital for over 2 years. don't tell yourself to shutup your worth more than that.
I'm pretty upset right now. Doubting how I can cope with life after the holidays when I'm struggling now. I've just lost confidence in myself and am not sure that I will ever recover.
In response to: Re: Flower confused & back
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Flower confused & back
Hello @Former-Member xx
Doubting how I can cope with life after the holidays -- it takes time my friend
one step at a time
Hello @Former-Member, @NikNik
In response to: Re: Flower confused & back
samt31Senior Contributor
Re: Flower confused & back
Hi @Former-Member I hope you find help. Not having a great day..
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