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9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Hello Everyone

1) “I don’t know how you do it.”

2) “I sure wouldn’t want to deal with what you have to.” –

3) “You’re just a caregiver, you don’t have a real job?”

4) Everything happens for a reason and God doesn’t give us more than we can handle’

23 replies

1 - 10 of 23

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Good morning @Former-Member , @ivana

what are some of the things that you have heard

Hello @denial, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @PeppiPatty, @Appleblossom, @Anony18

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

I get really upset when I am asked why I don't leave my husband instead of caring for him.

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Hi @Former-Member

yes I agree, it is very upsetting xx

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Hi @Shaz51

@Former-Member mention one I hear all the time. Other ones are:

You are so patient I would have left him ages ago if I were you.

Why put yourself through this?

If he likes you he will want to see you and talk to you everyday

I can see why his ex cheated on him. I would have if I were you.

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Uuuughhh .. they are all horrible

the one about god not giving us things we cant handle .. is red rag to a bull with me now ..

One recent one was a CAT team worker .. who put the blame for my episode all on my son.

A counsellor about 5 years ago .. told me that I blame my son for everything .. on the first visit .. she didnt even know half my story and NO I HAD NOT and DO NOT blame my son . or my mother .. or my brother .. or my ex ..for the tragedies in my family. I see it as due to multiple causes .. is it all my fault cos I am the common denominator .. I know I am just not that important and influential ..

and done the research on child development and mental health... but sadly only after I had given my self a big headache .. silly me

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Uuuughhh .. they are all horrible

I totally agree @Appleblossom

there is another one --- "why did you marry him " if you knew he has a MI "

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

This is the one that sticks in my throat: "I can recommend a good exorcist for you."

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Oh @perseverer - that is shocking!

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

@Anony18 It was said in a staff meeting at my school (I am a teacher) in the presence of my colleagues and three priests, all of whom declined to comment during or afterwards. I was left to feel that everyone there who heard it agreed with the comment.

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone who is a carer--- Teaching others what to say

Hi @perseverer

Sadly the response of the church to mental illness has been one of ignorance. Many clergy have had no training, have serious misconceptions are unprepared to deal with it.
Thankfully things are slowly changing and there is an increasing recognition of the reality of mental illness by the church and training programs are being introduced. You would probably find the church the priests are from have formal mental health guides.
Despite this many individuals (and congregations) continue to hold to beliefs such as demon possession or deep spiritual deficiency are at the root of mental illness.
Darcy




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