-abbey-Senior Contributor
My heart hurts
It's been hurting for a life time. But the last four years I just don't know how to keep on. I'm alone. I wasn't good enough for my mother, my aunt, or my best friend. I couldn't keep up with everything they expected of me so they cut me out of their lives. If I'm logical about that, they were all very manipulative people that made me into what they wanted, and I was exhausted trying to keep them happy. But I loved them so so so much. They were all that I had but also they made sure they were all that I had. Side note my father raised me, if you can call it that, because my mother left when I was four.
My youngest kid moved to his father's seven months ago and hasn't spoken to me since. I don't know what I did wrong. Two weeks before he left he was his normal self saying I love you girl and constantly chattering about everything and anything. He was so perfect I sometimes wondered how I got so lucky.
If I died no one would be at my funeral. Because no one is in my life. And I have nothing to offer anyone, just hurt, so why would anyone want to be in my life.
