Connecting

Funny thing connecting, all a bit to hard to respond...is it...you look for help..you need help..you give help..you try to improve as suggested..then all quite...dont get it, we all need "help' which is differant to the individual needs. With out connection it stops !!

Hi @Matt12

sorry that no one responded yesterday, ive crashed and just also finding it hard.

connection is so important 😞

i'm sorry that your situation is difficult with your marriage... do you think there is any hope for a future with her?

Do you have some support outside of the forums? sorry i havent read back over the thread and my brain is fried... i used to be able to remember things and make connections agh.

lj

Thanks for the response, it’s my understanding this web site is about connecting with a diverse group of individuals with mental health concerns that need support to recover. The reality is quite different in the real world…I am over the suggested views and ‘opinions ‘ and will continue the perception “out their”, what’s normal connection ! and expectations in lined with this ?...

Thanks for your support

hello @Matt12

you have found a place where people are doing just what you are looking for.

you want to connect with people

that is exactly what you have done. look at all your responses.

you did this not us.you connected with all of us.

you wrote your thoughts, expressed your feelings, explained what you want and hope for.

"I can’t express how difficult it is to write this and express a need to connect

your words correct?

In writing those words you spoke to us but also yourself. When you write your thoughts and feelings down you actually read them and listen to yourself. hope that makes sense.

i do tend to go on a bit.

i just want so much to say to you that you have already done what you thought was impossible. Your journey has started.

the last part of your post "when the cost benefit analysis suggest, get over it you have heard it before and hear it again stick to your “old copping ways” hide and you won’t be found…not a valued direction…still looking for one.."

to me that statement represents your work thinking, sales jargon, wearing work hat.

take work hat off when slowly starting to connect with others. they could feel the same as you and not show it also. this is the thing with society.the majority of people feel the way you do. they mask it. so the dance continues. people are frightened to connect because they think they will be rejected, sound silly and the others in their company are possibly feeling exactly the same. so no connection happens.

depression is relentless. have had major depression (used to be called clinical at one time) and now major anxiety for most of my life. Only a few people who know me know this fact.

biggest thing i have learnt and i hope you will take this away with you. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - DONT LISTEN TO THE SELF DOUBT, SELF LOATHING TALK. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.

smile at eveyone, say hello to strangers, you can do this i know.

i hope that i dont come across as overbearing, or forceful, I sincerely empathise with anyone who has a mental illness as i have lived with mine for the majority of my life.

Thanks for the response, it will take time to become a mindfulness guru that connects seemlessly, I have not meet one todate...but will strat saying hellow to strangers( outside work)..it's a start.

Thanks for your support 🙂

hello @Matt12

wonderful.

your mindset has changed already.

you will start saying hello to strangers - it's a start.

yes some will just stare and look away, too confronting for them,not used to it, may even have their own internal struggles. there are so many of us in the world hiding within ourselves. some are just too self-centred, selfish you dont need to connect to them anyway.

one step at a time

the other reason i smile at strangers is that for some of those people it will be the only smile they get for the day, week? month?

we dont know their story.

so if we can brighten up the day for just one person that is a good feeling.

what i am saying now is in giving the smile, apart from the seratonin, apart from possibly making the recipient feel something, we also make ourselves feel grateful, appreciated.

one other important factor dont try to analyse why you didnt get a smile back - too many possibilities. only that person knows that answer. not important anyway. so keep smiling. you are the giver.

i am at rock bottom at the moment in my depression well, but when i get out of the house out of necessity and walk past strangers at the shops. i still smile as hard as that is for me to do.

keep smiling

hello @Matt12

the walls we build.......serve us well at times then as the years go by we start to notice something missing in our lives.

we want to connect more. yes those words are so true.

people who do not suffer a mental illness probably will never experience that feeling unless they are a person who is isolated for some reason.

use the energy of the wanting to connect dont listen to the self doubt, negative patterned thinking in your mind (we all have that).

most of all be gentle with yourself, treat yourself to something non materialistic.

a marriage break up is huge, very draining, stirs up dreaded messages in your head.

hope you are seeking some counselling of some sort. remember you are starting to break down the wall brick by brick. if you have a helper the task will be less daunting, energy zapping, draining.

what are your hobbies, interests, bucket list? write them down for another time when you feel more motivated to think about.

keep writing on here no matter how you think it sounds.

look at me i dribble on and on if you discover my posts all over the place. i dont know where half of them are.

writing to others is therapy for me. i am releasing instead of burying that i did for the majority of my life.

Age??? just numbers. some people are old in their 30's some are still young in their 80's. forget the numbers. be yourself.

take care

having big issues with connection outside of work...need to connect at a 'normal way' what is normal ?...smash it when the work hat on..take it off lost like a bird without wings..not good..very careful regarding giving due to trust concerns..have said many times without healthy connection..what is healthy connection ?....I revert back to my head which leads to BAD ideas in every way

Hi all

Connecting has many meanings and perception depending on your needs and wonts, connection starts and stops with your effort to connect at any level to ensure the ‘HEAD” is ok, we all need healthy connecting through any forum, doing this is my way...

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Content/trigger warning