A strange dream and it's meaning...

Dear @Former-Member.

I am so sorry if you read anger into my post. Please accept my sincere apologies. I will not use capital letters for emphasis again if you find it offensive. My intention was not to question your truth. Again, I apologise if that was how my miscommunication came across. Your posts are filled with useful and wise advice and it is clear that your insights have contributed to your healing and may well be of use to others. I clearly need to work on the tone of my discussion, as you found it aggressive. Talking about anger and hatred can come acorss as aggressive, as they are ugly concepts.

My discussion about opinion was not appropriate for this forum if it hurt your feelings. It was intended as an invitation to brain storm on the nature of Universal Truth, and not as a hurtful barb in your direction. I'm sorry. And yes, I think it is possible that your quote about inner peace is a universal truth (I nearly put that 'is' in caps again. Oops)

I am surprised that a discussion about how to deal with anger and hatred, being symptoms of MI are not considered appropriate subjects for a forum. Now I know. I find the parameters of a forum a little hard to grasp. I have often wondered if i might be on the Asperger's spectrum actually, since I try to word my posts so carefully and with no intention to harm, but still manage to cause offence.

I wish the same - healing and peace for everyone here. I am going away to lick my wounds now

Heavenlyqueen - Apology accepted. No hard feelings my friend. I don't think discussing anger and hatred is inappropriate on this forum at all. I never applied that at all. Discussion and venting such is fine but when that anger is aimed at another forum member it's not fine, and that is what was starting to happen here - off topic on another persons thread at their expense.

My feelings were not hurt in that sense dear heavenlyqueen, I am fairly thicked skinned - , boy I have copped worse lol! I love healthy discussions and differences of opinion, been doing that on forums for years. I love a challenge.

What I stated that I took offence was being personally attacked when you yelled at me in capitals. That is well known internet language for yelling and aggression. I did ask if you were aware of this to be fair? I don't know any other way anyone could of read into it as putting it in the context of that post you wrote, it was fuelled with anger rather than discussing the points I raised. My life experiences of love in action aiding my healing was becoming the subject of derision by you because according to you there was no evidence to support my life experiences and that was th whole jist of your post to me, not discussing "the points I raised"....this is what the forum is inviting, sharing "lived experience". Did I feel attacked for it, yes.

Please let's keep this honest. It's just when this anger spilled over to me personally I had to put the brakes on to keep it respectful.

But we can all get carried away with anger, I have done so in the past. I have been in a bad place and done this many times and others have picked me up on it (people will protect themselves and that is okay). No hard feelings at all.

So don't be offended and lick your wounds (feel like this is being turned around somehow). I just like to keep discussions respectful and not personal for all concerned as we are all struggling and my intention is always to support. Wishing you well.

Not sure what happened here @Sahara but it was getting out of hand. I don't know how the discussion with you about love in action in friendships got dragged off to hate and anger???? What happened there? Sorry @Sahara not my intention and I think you know me well enough to know I wouldn't do anything to derail your thread. I just wanted to help and support. Sorry my friend. Please don't let this incident stop you from what you started here. I was really enjoying your posts and you were making such progress working it through on here.

Thought it was going along beautifully and was enjoying the conversation and everyone's posts and input then wham - where did that truck come from 😳 Sorry @Sahara

Do you have any plans to catch up with the best friend again any time in the near future?

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm not sure what happened there..... looks like one or two posts may have been deleted.... I missed the whole exchange! I took an evening off from the Internet. I was watching a very stupid movie on commercial TV.

It's great to get into healthy debates and robust discussions... a bit like what happened to me and my friend on our recent short holiday! But it's not to good if someone feels personally attacked.

I few times I have felt a bit persoanlly offended here on Sane forums (Not by you @Former-Member.. or any of the other regulars we see here all the time) but I just drop out of the conversation without a word, if I feel uncomfortable. I think it is for the best.

I hope you are ok. Please don't take anything personally. You are a good, kind person with a big heart.

That's great that you are seeing your grandson... wonderful news. It's good to have family around us.

I am going along quite well. I went swimming and cycling yesterday and I did a lot of cooking. I am going to do some more volunteering this afternoon, as well as work on a new drawing.

As for hatred and anger.... I don't know, really. I'm probably not qualified to say!

I have experienced a lot of anger... it was at it's worst just before I became severely depressed. From everything I have learned through counselling, I would say that anger is a natural emotion and it's worth listening to. We get angry when our boundaries are transgressed.

It's what we do with the anger that counts. We must try and channel our anger into productive action, rather than let it simmer. There is no need to be aggressive or violent when you are angry.... violence is extremely counter-productive. (Goes without saying!)

But you can harness anger for good... you can use it to make productive changes and move forward in beneficial ways.

As the Dalai Lama says "When you see an injustice, you must fight against it."

Sometimes it is enough to walk away from a situation and never return. That is a good use of anger... it can enable you to get to safer ground.

Sometimes we have to take action and be the whistle-blower, where we see injustice. We have to call others to action, we have to shout out from the roof-tops. We have to force people to see what is really going on. Even if it is painful for them to have to see it.... even if it might upset their cosy world view.

I really think that it's ok to be angry...

As for hatred.... I have had fleeting experiences of this... perhaps towards my ex-employer, for example. I would say that he was a sociopath- he felt no emotion and no remorse. With someone like this you can never leave an impression! For him, other human beings were just a means to an end... about as significant and a useful piece of machinery. If one breaks down, you just replace it.

I don't think you can ever make any difference to the life of a sociopath. You can never make them feel anything at all. Even if they do come undone, in the end, they will feel nothing.

Tha's why it's good to walk away from people like this. Then you see that hatred is a bit pointless... other than maybe keeping you on your toes... on the look-out for other sociopaths!!

Hello dear @Sahara

Thank you for your kind words and support. I am feeling pretty good. Enjoying my visitors presently 😊

Ah yes definitely, the only way to deal with a sociopath is to walk away and protect ourselves. My daughter's ex was a self confessed one and it took so long to convince her to do this. She finally did and hopefully she will now heal from the damage done.

I understand what you mean by just leaving it, I have done that many times. In this instance the aggression needed to be defused. Unfortunately one or two here aren't what they appear to be and if harm is exercised on a support forum I will speak up to put the brakes on it. But most on here are genuine and offer great support I have found. This is a valuable forum

We never knew beforehand that this is an actual legal offence (psychological abuse). A few people informed us of this including police, the harder part is proving it but she is compiling evidence. The police/authorities know a lot of what she went through so that helps. It would be good to see some justice as she suffered so much and it nearly costed her her life.

You sound really good - let me know how the course of your week goes as I am always thinking of you. Hugs 💕

Hey @Former-Member, that is great news that your daughter has left the abusive boyfriend! I did not realise that she had left! So wonderful.

Can she get the help of a community lawyer or even better, a women's rights lawyer? I know there are lawyers who specialize in this type of thing. There are referral services that you can use.

I wasn't sure that psycholological abuse was agianst the law... although, of course, there are laws against bullying in the workplace. That's psychological abuse, isn't it?

I hope your daughter finds justice. I hope she is ok.

Yes, bullying can be psychological abuse as well - where someone uses either mental (power position, controlling etc) or physical intimidation to manipulate and control others to their way. The pay off for her ex was to see how much control he could exert to empower his weak self. Sick isn't it?

We will have to employ the services of a private lawyer and it does cost a lot. But worth every cent. There is no guarantee of outcome but at least he didn't get away scott free.

My daughter isn't okay, it will take along time for healing and she will have to keep away from those who seek to use and abuse. She is vulnerable because of low self esteem. WIll talk more tonight as I have to dash out with family to the shopping centre. Have a wonderful day. 😊💕xx

Oops, this got posted twice.

Hi @Former-Member,

that's good that you have a lawyer for your daughter and let hope it goes smoothly and justice is served. I don't have a lot of faith in the courts, but I'm just one person with a negative experience.... and there are plenty of people who have managed to obtain justice. I do think the tide might be turning in favour of women and their rights, these days.

I have been very busy today working! My husband and I have a little cottage industry.... it's fun but tiring.

I hoped my best friend might come and stay with us a few nights, but she is busy.... she is very social. In fact, I doubt she would even consider me her 'best friend', because she had a lot of close friends... we don't get to see each other all that often.

I am feeling quite good, because I am worn out right now. When I'm tired, I don't seem to worry about things as much... it's like my mind slows down!

Last night I had a dream in which I was in a row-boat in a storm on the high seas. I wasn't sure that I would survive, but then the seas calmed down and I woke up.