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Hi @Former-Member

Ive tried to talk about stuff with psychologist but i dont do very well with it. have tried to get on top of everything for a long time, but nothing works. how did you keep going?

lj

Hi @PixieMay It's nice to meet you on here.

Do you know what has caused the agoraphobia and anxiety?

I used to have agoraphobia really bad, but not as bad now. I think what helped me the most was having counselling (with the right person). Mine was caused by lots of physcial/emotional abuse/rape etc........ So talking about it with someone I trusted I found very helpful. I still struggle with anxiety and depression (PTSD), but I do experience ok days now, which I never did before.

I used to have terrible fear of going outdoors, especially going to the shopping centre, anywhere really. I think it was more a terrible fear of men. Thankfully I have overcome most of those fears. I still do take anxiety meds when needed. But daily medication eg. anti depressants don't work for me, but I have heard that they have been very helpful for other.

I am presently trying to learn to do daily mindfulness. You can google it on internet, if you are interested. When having an anxiety attack, I find it helpful to take deep breathes, hold it, then let the breathe go, slowly.

If I think of anything else I will type more. I have just arrived home from a huge day out shopping etc., but I am happy to chat more at some stage.

Feel free to chat on here at any time and I will answer when I can. I am on and off here most days and look forward to getting to know you.

It is very interesting meeting people from overseas @Appleblossom I have a relative coming over here next year, that will be nice. xoxoxo

@Former-Member I will reply as soon as I can. My daughter needs to talk about something, I better not ignore her any longer, sorry. xoxo

I use exposure therapy to learn to deal with fears and I have had many fears.

Crossing paths @Former-Member. Just dropping in to say hi. Managed a real coffee in the real word today which was good. Will catch ya soon 💜🤗

That is exactly how I did it .. little random chats ..15 years ago .. I was tongue tied uptight and thort salesgirls were from another planet .. now I mostly like them .. and we can cheer up each others day .. its worth it ..I started to look at my prejudices about other women .. as behind all the nice clothes were mostly real people.

No therapist helped me .. my uncle explained the therapy 40 years ago .. and I only put it into practice when I had other things sorted .. and had the spare energy or time to do it ..

Sorry that you're not comfortable talking to your psychologist about it all @Former-Member

When I first started talking about the abuse/rape etc....... I would actually start shaking and crying, it was awful, but the more I talked about it, the easier it was. I had hidden it all for many years and it was difficult to talk about it. Now it doesn't bother me really. I can talk about it freely and not really feel upset even. So I guess that was the major thing that got me through.

I did take anxiety meds for a long time years ago, to get through, but I don't recommend that. They can cause you to feel more depressed if taken every day for a long time. I only take them occassionally now, like today, because I would have found it too overwhelming to go to the city and shop in a different shopping centre. People and noise Eeeeek! Too much for me.

For years I found it impossible to exercise, due to chronic fatigue etc., exercising back then just caused me to feel worse. Now I force myself to exercise, some days all I can manage to do is pilates/yoga stretches. Some days I can't do any. But I definitely think that exercise has helped me get better. I also am very careful what I eat. I have had IBS for many years and it took a long time to figure out which foods affect me. Stopping those foods I was sensitive to has helped me alot.

Deep breathing has helped and trying to get control of my negative thoughts has been helpful. My thoughts have been a huge contributor to my well being. Sometimes I tell myself to "stop it", meaning my negative thoughts. Those thoughts really bring me down and some days it's really hard to stop them. The more I control those thoughts, the better I cope. At one stage there I would wake up with these awful negative thoughts and they would be there all day long. Thankfully, I can have a bit more control over them.

Gosh! It's quite difficult to try and think of what keeps me going. I guess what keeps me going is having my daugher and wanting to show her that life can be fun and good. If I didn't have her, I probably wouldn't bother to fight for wellness. It has been extremely difficult to keep fighting and honestly I probably wouldn't be here, if I didn't have my daughter. It has been bl#### hard.

Thankfully you have your kids to keep you going and to fight for wellness. I hope that I can think of other things that have helped me keep going.

If I think of anything else I will let you know. It's getting late and I probably should have a shower and try and get to bed. I'll probably pop back on when I am in bed.

Please feel free to chat anytime about anything. I really hope that I can help you in some way.

I really understand what you are going through and I know how hard it is, but you will get through it. I get very frustrated because it is such a long, slow journey, but we have our kids to keep us going.

This might help you too @PixieMay

I still struggle with socialising PixieMay. I guess I am lucky, I take my daughter with me shopping if I feel extra anxious. I haven't socialised much lately for a long time. I will start again some day. Will chat more when I get a chance.

That's good that you were able to go out for coffee today @Former-Member It's been tough for you. xoxo

My ex boyfriend was extremely physically/emotionally abusive @Former-Member

I used to be a victim and attract those sorts of creeps, not any more. Would rather be single than have an abusive partner, that's for sure. Why put up with crapp. xoxo