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In response to: Nothing
Unknown userMember
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
@Owlunar @Appleblossom
I was just remembering, when I was a little girl, my cat used to play the piano every morning. Hehe! So cute. Better than an alarm clock.
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Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Hi @Former-Member .... have got this .... will respond when I am home a bit later, even if you don't pick it up till tomorrow .....
Hope you sleep well if I miss you tonight ....
❤️💕
Hope you sleep well if I miss you tonight ....
❤️💕
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Bimby2Senior Contributor
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
A big thank you Bella2 for mentioning me and hope you're having a good evening. Wish you all the best for
this week; Take care and cheers,hugs from Bimby2
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Unknown userMember
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Hi @Former-Member,
felt for you to read how much your mother upsets you, and you're not free to be open with her. I feel much the same and know its hard. Its just another loss we have to grieve. What I call 'a living loss' which is harder to bare (the abandonment / rejection in it). They do get old and hardened, sticking with what they know to cope with ageing & dying themselves. We do have to limit our contact unless were are really up-to-it, strong (though hard to know sometimes).
Its difficult accepting family are unlikely to change toward us. How do we ever separate ourselves? I don't know. And those 'things' we have "swept under the carpet" (tripping us up), yep, they are probably better off there. I spoke out about my big bro 2yrs back and was told I was delusional & that ended the matter for them (big bro & ma) it seemed. It really doesn't matter to them. All i wanted was a simple 'sorry' but somehow that's too hard. Keeping distance is probably best with these sort of people that insult your soul. I'm coming to terms with this more lately myself (though mums terminal cancer & dads rapid memory loss is complicating iy all). Our past trauma really is OURS, not theirs, and it seems they care less about putting thing right than us. We have to somehow separate, and validate oursrlf. But I struggle leaving them.
I do hope counselling tomorrow helps you (I have a session tomorrow myself). We do have to become stronger, and we have had to be. Aweful how the wounded are expected to be stronger in this upside down world.
I agree, that our family just don't want to understand complex PTSD, or feel they owe you, us. Contact with my family triggers me too - you might be right - maybe it just isn't worth it. But Glad you were able to cry for a change - some say it us our emotional pressure valve. I know what you mean.
Why are you on antibiotics for? They usually take 2days to really make a difference, finish the course. Take vit-c & lots of water.
Hope this rough patch will passes soon hugz xox
felt for you to read how much your mother upsets you, and you're not free to be open with her. I feel much the same and know its hard. Its just another loss we have to grieve. What I call 'a living loss' which is harder to bare (the abandonment / rejection in it). They do get old and hardened, sticking with what they know to cope with ageing & dying themselves. We do have to limit our contact unless were are really up-to-it, strong (though hard to know sometimes).
Its difficult accepting family are unlikely to change toward us. How do we ever separate ourselves? I don't know. And those 'things' we have "swept under the carpet" (tripping us up), yep, they are probably better off there. I spoke out about my big bro 2yrs back and was told I was delusional & that ended the matter for them (big bro & ma) it seemed. It really doesn't matter to them. All i wanted was a simple 'sorry' but somehow that's too hard. Keeping distance is probably best with these sort of people that insult your soul. I'm coming to terms with this more lately myself (though mums terminal cancer & dads rapid memory loss is complicating iy all). Our past trauma really is OURS, not theirs, and it seems they care less about putting thing right than us. We have to somehow separate, and validate oursrlf. But I struggle leaving them.
I do hope counselling tomorrow helps you (I have a session tomorrow myself). We do have to become stronger, and we have had to be. Aweful how the wounded are expected to be stronger in this upside down world.
I agree, that our family just don't want to understand complex PTSD, or feel they owe you, us. Contact with my family triggers me too - you might be right - maybe it just isn't worth it. But Glad you were able to cry for a change - some say it us our emotional pressure valve. I know what you mean.
Why are you on antibiotics for? They usually take 2days to really make a difference, finish the course. Take vit-c & lots of water.
Hope this rough patch will passes soon hugz xox
In response to: Nothing
Unknown userMember
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Thanks for your lovely understanding message @Former-Member 😙💜
I just got into bed. Better try and sleep. Off early in morning. Counselling then group.
I read a bit on yoir thread the other day; but haven't felt well enough to say anything.
I understand about church people not having time and often act that they don't care.
I find that the only way to have friendships with them, is to join their groups etc. But trouble is, when you don't feel well, you don't feel like being with a group of people. So I never see them.
Had alot of friends in the church. Never hear from them, because I don't have the energy to join in with them.
Not sure when or if I'll go back to church again. Still getting over the hurts.
Anyway. Chat more soon. Better sleep.
I hope you sleep well. Nighty night. xo 💜
I just got into bed. Better try and sleep. Off early in morning. Counselling then group.
I read a bit on yoir thread the other day; but haven't felt well enough to say anything.
I understand about church people not having time and often act that they don't care.
I find that the only way to have friendships with them, is to join their groups etc. But trouble is, when you don't feel well, you don't feel like being with a group of people. So I never see them.
Had alot of friends in the church. Never hear from them, because I don't have the energy to join in with them.
Not sure when or if I'll go back to church again. Still getting over the hurts.
Anyway. Chat more soon. Better sleep.
I hope you sleep well. Nighty night. xo 💜
In response to: Nothing
Unknown userMember
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Love and hugs to you @Former-Member 💜🌷🌼🌹🌸🌻🌺
Tomorrow's a new day. Hope it goes well for you. xo
Nighty night all 😴💕
Tomorrow's a new day. Hope it goes well for you. xo
Nighty night all 😴💕
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TABSenior Contributor
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Thanks @Former-Member I'll get by one way or another lol.😀
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OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
@Bella2 wrote:
I went to see my mother, but it didn't seem the right time to say anything, not sure that it will help. I have said how I feel before, but it hasn't changed anything. Because she is quite old now, I really don't want to upset her. If she really upsets me in the future, I will probably say something, but yesterday's visit wasn't too bad. It's awful when parents get older and it makes it difficult to say anything. Thankfully she didn't mention anything too upsetting. I will keep my contact with her very limited, unless I feel strong enough. I just have to accept that family will never change and the things that have been "swept under the carpet", will remain there. I'll just keep my distance.
Hi @Former-Member
I started a thread on "Our Mothers and what they do to us..........." - so I will send you a tag
It's really hard - my mother was so abrasive I often kept away for years on end and did not see her for over two years before the end of my life - and then I could see her regret and she couldn't hear or speak so I sat there in silence and wipe the tears from her eyes and stroked her hand - and prayed
I don't feel guilty - she pushed me away and she would not have liked it any better if I had whined and crawl around after her begging for whatever - she didn't like me the way I was how could she like me the way I wasn't?
Anyway - I do understand what you are talking about - yes - best to keep your distance and keep your stories to yourself - they are your stories and never give her a reason to pick at you -
Keep in touch by letter if necessary - if she never answers - wow - yep tough - I know - but you are doing what's right by yourself
You might like to share your story when I send you a tag
Dec
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Unknown userMember
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
hello @Former-Member and all others
struggling to type my cat beatrix is stretched half across keyboard and trying to push my hands off.
therapy sounds interesting hope it suits you
i have struggled with my twin and mum for so long that I cant remember
they dont get me at all, funnily enough they feel compassion for others they have heard have mental illness
i have reached the stage where if asked on rare occasions, i am fine or not too bad is all they get
i now say to myself it is them, they struggle with it, I live it!
be gentle with yourself, you have come a long way xxxxx
In response to: Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕
Hello @Owlunar xx
"Our Mothers and what they do to us..........." , I will come and have a look 
