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Fear

peaceSenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 2:57 pm AEDT

Fear

I hate it when I get scared and so fearfull of life. ANXIETY is driving me into hell. Panic attacks that last for days with no relief. I am frightened. Fear is soul destroying. I have to be ok I have to work or everything will be lost and I will live in the street again. My daughter and her baby son need me. My beloved ex is needing a liver transplant, on top of the list, he needs me to go and help him recover. Damn it I can't even take care of my dog. Oh so scared and trapped. So overwhelmed by this life. I am pathetically useless. So hate being me. So hate life. So over it. Over over over.....Please.
God grant me peace.

56 replies

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In response to: Fear

NikNikSenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 5:14 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Hi @peace

Coming on here and sharing your experience shows a lot of strength - you are far from useless.

It sounds like you're in a bit of a cycle. You have so much to do, it's putting a lot of pressure on you, which in turn, sets off a panic attack. Would that be an accurate account of what's going on for you?

You have to take small steps and be kinder to yourself.

@Chris started a really inspiring thread called So, what did I achieve today, which is about recognising all the small and big things you did in your day. What I've noticed is that we do more and achieve more in a day than we think. Maybe you want to check it out?

Also - has there been strategies or people in the past that have helped you get through things like this?

Perhaps other members can share any stategies you have used to manage anxiety.

If things are getting really tough, it's important to contact one of the following numbers or use one of the chat lines:

Lifeline 13 11 14 or https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat if you want to use online chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/register if you want to use online chat

If in immediate danger: 000

Are you safe tonight?

Like I said, it's great that you jumped on here and shared what you're going through. We're here to support you through this.

Nik

In response to: Fear

LoopySenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 7:17 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

peace, loopy here, your last words were, "god grant me peace" if that means what i interpret it to you will be no help for for Daughter and baby Grandson and least of all for your ex. NikNik is right on the money, your safety is paramount, not only for you but those that are reliant upon you. I am not giving you a guilt trip, I would never do that to anyone least of all a fellow MI sufferer. This forum is for venting your spleen , your soul and your heart and mine bleeds for you. i thought I was in a shit hole but mine pales into insignificance compared with your plight. You will probably say, its only words, but I mean it and so will everyone else that answers your call for help. By the way, you did call for help and that is the first step.

may your god be with you.

loopy.

In response to: Fear

Alessandra1992Senior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Hey @peace..please call one of the numbers @NikNik listed if you have access to a phone.
Panic attacks are overwhelming..and so physically intense..
So now I am going to ask a question..what got you through your last attack? Can you do it again now?

I used to have attacks all the time. One thing that did help was having a shower..something about the water on my head was very grounding..

And sometimes I would read until the wee hours of the morning..just tried to tire my mind so I could sleep..
Please don't be so hard on yourself..
Giant virtual hug...

In response to: Re: Fear

LoopySenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Ditto

the looped one

In response to: Fear

kristinSenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 9:08 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Hey @peace

You sound so overwhelmed, I am sorry you are suffering so much. I used to get them too, they are the absolute pits. Are you feeling safe in your home? Sometimes PTSD can get so triggered that you don't feel safe. Is there anything in particular that you are feeling uncomfortable with, which you might be able to change?

I know this might sound rather weird but sometimes just changing how you are sitting/lying/etc, moving around/doing something different can shift the way you are feeling especially with that really intense feeling.

I hope that peace will be with you tonight, and you can sleep.

Hope endures... that tomorrow will be a better day.

Blessings & kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Fear

RickSenior Contributor14 Dec 2014, 10:13 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Dearest Peace,
I'm sure that you Like myself have a certain prohibition that keeps us safe. It's to do with those that might be left behind and the ashes that they will have in their mouths forever, yes?

Just remind yourself of this prohibition.
I cannot take away your fear and I cannot forrce the demons back to their pit, But I can tell you
This too shall pass.
It always has. It always will.
This is the curse and the blessing.
Hold on!
Pray if you want to, need to.
Bathe in warm water , slow it all down.

Call for help! Show yourself compassion. Let us show you compassion.
We understand Peace, you did well to post. We now know you're frightened and let us support you.

Slow down......it will pass. You've done this before. You are a mountain of strength and an Iron Rod runs through you, you cannot break, for your strength is all.
You are not useless. You are valued because you are wonderful and brave.

This will pass.

Hope will return for it endures

Rick

In response to: Fear

peaceSenior Contributor15 Dec 2014, 2:25 am AEDT

Re: Fear

Wow what an out pouring of love. I am so truly grateful and deeply touched. So so needed that caring compassion and good advise.
I go through this cycle all to often and it is wearing me out and I feel so alone in it. I am ok now but I know it will return again all too soon. I am going reread all these beautiful responses in the morning when it usually begins again. I went to work as hard as it is, I need it both financially and emotionally it helps. But somedays are really bad I just can't cope with the fear and need to take something to make me sleep. As it can last for days at a time. @NikNik I do feel useless as I know I do not function at a level that most others do. Its embarrassing for me. Thank you for the chat links much needed. Very helpful. Honestly here I feel safe. I did read Chris' s thread yesterday and liked the idea and boy can I relate. In fact I can relate with so many people here. I am certainly not alone.

In response to: Fear

peaceSenior Contributor15 Dec 2014, 2:52 am AEDT

Re: Fear

Blessing to you @Loopy and @Alexander 1992 for your hugs also. @Kristen thanks for your help and @Rick. I have no real prohibition but I have fear of the consequences. That's enough for now. I must sleep now. Thank you all.

In response to: Re: Fear

LoopySenior Contributor15 Dec 2014, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

peace, a little something I found.

Fear is when you run away,
Fear is when you’re scared to love someone,
Fear is when the sky turns grey,
Fear is when you lose your loved ones,
Fear is a feeling of danger,
Fear is when you aren’t brave,
Fear is the feeling of anger,
Fear is when you can’t behave,
Fear is when your shy,
Fear is like not having devotion,
Fear is when you’re afraid of saying bye,
Fear is like a dark blue ocean,
Fear is like ending you’re career,
Fear is like being lonely,
Fear is like not being able to reappear,
Fear is like feeling ghostly,
Fear is like an ashtray,
Fear is like a dark dungeon.

Don’t be afraid of fear
Because fear is afraid of itself
You give into fear when you doubt yourself
Fear makes you a complete opposite of yourself
Draining every bit of confidence your body has left
Fear tricks you of your potential
Wiping away your credentials
A life ruled by fear is life without hope
Of course people are going to have raining days
But with fear, everyday you will have your droughts

Be confident and put your head up high
How can fear overtake you when you’re looking at the
Beautiful clouds high in the sky

loopy

In response to: Re: Fear

ChrisSenior Contributor15 Dec 2014, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Fear

Hi peace.
fear has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember.About six years ago I saw a new psychologist,and for the first time I felt like someone really understood me, but more than that she gave practical skills to help cope.one of the main tools was to do breathing exercises. Slow the breathing down.Mindfulness exercises too, you can look on YouTube and find some that suite you.distraction is another tool nice long shower focus on the feel of the water,scent of the soap.google debt self help, there is a section on distress tolerance lots of things there you can try.Recently we had a prowler around the house which has really unnerved me. so I do what I need to to make me feel safe, a retual of locking the whole house and making sure security sensor light are on.leave your bedroom light on if it helps. It's all about doing things to reduce you stress and distress.havivg a dr or psychologist that understands you can make all the difference.hang in there, I know how tough it is, but things will improve.

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