I am stuck and I don't know what to do for the best

Hello @Former-Member,

Sorry to hear you aren't doing so well at this point, it's very courageous you are reaching out to the forums for options and staying strong. It does sound like you need some extra support for yourself.

You mentioned not being sure of where to go from now, are you linked in with a psychologist or counsellor?

Talking to your GP in a long appointment might be a good start for that.

If you are unsure of how to articulate how you are feeling in the sessions you could try writing down some thoughts you are having in a journal. You could then highlight the ones that are occuring frequently and this could be something to work on as a start?

How would you feel about doing that?

Lunar

@Former-Member

i get the same problem trying to explain my feelings or what is going on in my head because sometimes it doesnt make sense to me.

I think what @Former-Member said is a great idea to write down thoughts and feelings to discuss. When I was first being diagnosed it was incorrect they diagnosed me as having epilepsy. Between appointments as I was a real mess on medication I didnt need but I would write down things that bother me, questions I want to ask and did loads of research. One thing I have learnt with doctors is DONT LEAVE IT UP TO THEM, otherwise you get put in the too hard basket. You need to do your own research and then discuss options with your GP. If I was still doing as I was told I would be unemployed, not driving a car and a total mess because of the symptoms the epilepsy meds gave. Eventually as no one would listen I gathered my proof and I demanded that they do something about getting to the bottom of this or I would go to the medical board. I then was reffered to someone who said "no its not epilepsy" and I started to get some of my life back Now I'm not suggesting you do that but with everything I went through it was clear of just how much you need to be in control of your own medical issues and not just think "my doctor will sort it" because without your input it could go on and on. Even speaking to a psychiatrist a few months ago after me asking for a 12 month review he also said the same thing that for us to get better we need to have a lot of input otherwise they are just guessing.

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Hi @Former-Member, I am not sure what to say to help right now. I think perhaps you and I go through similar patterns with our therapy. I have also been questioning lots of things about my therapy but have come back full circle too. On Monday even though I wasn't expecting it my therapist said she needed to change our therapy to include more healing parts to it. At this point I am willing to try anything. I have been undone and stuck for so long. Even though I had no idea (and was too chicken to articulate what was wrong with therapy), just saying that I wasn't sure about it helped my therapist and me to look at other things that might help. I also need to say that I had some outside help last week which helped me reflect about my responsibilities in getting better and my therapy which was extraordinarily helpful. I know you are worried about a new therapist but I really think that having someone different does help challenge me. I still need the stability of my therapist and she is helping me in so many ways but some of the big leaps I've made are through different people too like the hospital psychs and sometimes other services.

I think the other thing that comes into play is that I can't string many days together (if any) that are ok, which makes me question everything I'm doing on the bad days. On the good days it feels like I'm moving forward but on the bad days it feels like it will never end and I will never be better.

I'm not sure if this helps and how it goes for you too.

Sending hugs

Thanks @Former-Member

I tend to put on a pretty brave front to everyone. I have very limited support atm. I think the anxiety is around knowing I need to make changes and presently not feeling that comfortable with how things are. I am trying to stay positive and even today I noticed I picked up a little from just being outside doing some gardening.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist and she just changed locations last Monday and have no follow up with her, I need to book in- I might phone her tomorrow to check in with her- she goes away on holiday from this Friday for three weeks.

I think you have made some good ideas about journaling and using that has a starting point and perhaps some more research on what treatments are avialable.

@utopia thanks so much for your message

I think I will start to write down what I am feeling and what seems to bother me. I think that is a good starting point. I am finding the exercise does help me a bit and I will continue with this. I also start my volunteer work this week and will be working up to three shifts a week.

I think my biggest concern is how the depresion is affecting me physically and that is something I really want to discuss with my specialist and I will try to phone her tomorrow. The medication does scare me and I would be limited in what I can take if anything, I am very sensitive to medication and TMS is probably something I wouldn't consider at this stage. But like you said the medication might make life a bit easier for me and take the edge of things and that would be great.

You have helped and I just need to think about about what steps I need to take next and perhaps write some things down tonight for when I call the specialist tomorrow.