Unknown userMember
I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
I am just feeling really stressed with the dynamics of my family. Growing up it was quite difficult for me and in lots of ways I blame myself for other family members.
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I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
16 replies
In response to: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Unknown userMember
Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Learngrowing,Its hard for me to relate and look anyone in the eye because of the stigma of mental illness,being unemployed etc.I lost everything in my life four years ago when I left a job due to workplace bullying and a tiredness I did not associate with depression.I have relations with big flash homes,and "everyone has done well in life".They also have a big judgemental attitude to go with their big house.Whatever I do nothing goes right,and I made sacrifices to change my life thinking it was for the better,with the optimistic crap of a idiot mental health nurse to go with it.My life only got worse and I lost what meant the world to me.I get that p***** off how I have had so much of a battle which gets to a high level of distress and suicidal thoughts.Its for the best that family stay away if they think anything of me.The only thing different is I won't put up with any crap from anyone anymore.I refuse to be treated and defined by people who are that pathetic where they have to put me down to make themselves feel good.
The only answer I can give you is when I used to walk past homes and think it must be nice to have it together.However since then,there was a suicide,death,and marriage breakdown amongst these houses I thought were "together". It's like the relations with the flash homes,they are not perfect,they just delight in being judgemental to hide their faults.
The only answer I can give you is when I used to walk past homes and think it must be nice to have it together.However since then,there was a suicide,death,and marriage breakdown amongst these houses I thought were "together". It's like the relations with the flash homes,they are not perfect,they just delight in being judgemental to hide their faults.
In response to: Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Janet Frame: "I dont want to inhabit the human world under false pretences."
She is a lady who knows stress, MI, and I believe she is a beautiful soul.
In response to: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Unknown userMember
Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Hi again @Former-Member
I am really sorry to hear about your depression and anxiety. I truly can understand where you are coming from and the emotional impact from the relationship you had from your family. I think you are being too hard on yourself- I do see someone with so much insight and where there is insight there is hope.
I am trying to think what might help you and also give you some relief - what do you think might help you?
I feel like I have this inner anxiety and I am not sure why- its kinda like I don't feel safe and that is what causes me so much anxiety at times and I wondering if your anxiety is similar?
In response to: Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Unknown userMember
Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Oceangirl
Yes I don't feel safe I hide away to keep "safe"avoid people to keep "safe",not people I don't know but ones I do ,don't want to discuss my life ,or invade my privacy.I don't feel proud of my life,ashamed more like it eg: someone asked me to take their cleaning over in the small town I'm in.Had to say no because it involved public places which I couldn't take due to my anxiety.I fear when I have triggers and have a severe episode like a few weeks ago when I had to take a calmative for my own safety because the alarm bells were ringing in my head when I felt out of control.
At times,you realise that there is nothing wrong with you that it's your family that drove you bonks.I realise I'm not keeping myself safe because the isolation in a way feeds the illness.I was going to the psychologist next week but dont feel like at the moment listening to optimistic crap how life is getting better.I really cannot see a future everyday it gets more stronger as I am a "have not",and not strong enough to cope with the hypocrisy of human nature.
In response to: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Unknown userMember
Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
This is quite interesting as it provokes my thoughts to try offer what I've known of this feeling 'feeling safe'.
Most definitely @Former-Member, keeping ourselves isolated does entrench the lonely feed of self entrapment.
I've done this. It is far easier to avoid then continually deal, when 'we' are not intact as our own full unit.
I've had to battle with family and being different, learning to re-connect with myself.
I think allowing this acceptance firstly, was my biggest hurdle.
it's only of late, through counseling...that small pieces have unraveled the picture more.
It's very confusing to be in between two places of the mind.
I do not have another appointment until Jan, but yes I can relate I do wonder when my therapist will give up on my state of being.
But then I remind myself through shear exhaustion that she does know because shed said herself I suffer bouts on depression in betweens...a mixed head state!
I think a while ago in order to keep afloat I started to challenge my anxiety, by doing exactly what it was I feared.
I started to not care what people thought so much, and in turn found small aspects of who I was.
I'm sorry I haven't had time to read whole thread.
I just wanted to share, do not dwell on the place where you are. Maybe just know ok today I feel this way, and this is where I'm at. I'll see what tomorrow brings. I tend to learn through dreams my unconscious thought or racing chatter.
Let the little voice inside you, speak to you.😊
Most definitely @Former-Member, keeping ourselves isolated does entrench the lonely feed of self entrapment.
I've done this. It is far easier to avoid then continually deal, when 'we' are not intact as our own full unit.
I've had to battle with family and being different, learning to re-connect with myself.
I think allowing this acceptance firstly, was my biggest hurdle.
it's only of late, through counseling...that small pieces have unraveled the picture more.
It's very confusing to be in between two places of the mind.
I do not have another appointment until Jan, but yes I can relate I do wonder when my therapist will give up on my state of being.
But then I remind myself through shear exhaustion that she does know because shed said herself I suffer bouts on depression in betweens...a mixed head state!
I think a while ago in order to keep afloat I started to challenge my anxiety, by doing exactly what it was I feared.
I started to not care what people thought so much, and in turn found small aspects of who I was.
I'm sorry I haven't had time to read whole thread.
I just wanted to share, do not dwell on the place where you are. Maybe just know ok today I feel this way, and this is where I'm at. I'll see what tomorrow brings. I tend to learn through dreams my unconscious thought or racing chatter.
Let the little voice inside you, speak to you.😊
In response to: Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Unknown userMember
Re: I get stressed with the dynamics of my family
Thanks Fadin for your thoughts.I have so much anger inside me no counselling will help that after nearly 4 years,I cannot overcome something's.I don't care what people think too tell the truth something has died in me from my experiences,I don't care if people are dead or alive,I don't have any interest in gossip,as my privacy is a high value.I was in the supermarket today and my old neighbours were walking towards my way.I had a falling out with them due to their judgements,earlier this year.I quickly walked down a aisle,they didn't see me they are both a elderly couple.I just don't have the energy to put up with people.I try not to dwell on it but it does come in the storms of depression.I don't have much faith in the counselling process.Its just someone getting good money to be a smart a***.I put my trust into one for over 3 years which ended in a negative way.It happened back in January and I am still traumatized by it. Now see a psychologist with optimistic crap.When it's been a long period like mine and you end up worse off due to changing your life via the counselling process you lose faith.
