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Something’s not right

Not sure what to do

Not sure what to do

I feel really agitated and unsettled and I am trying my best to manage everything but I don’t feel good and I have tried everything I can think of and nothing is really working and it is weird I was getting frustrated with my psychologist yesterday and I have no idea why like she didn’t do anything except ask questions which is fine I just kept feeling this weird feeling and like I wanted to yell at her I didn’t of course but yeah idk. I just feel so weird and not right and I think it is my meds because I was feeling good until I had my last dose and then like a day later I felt like shit and this has happened before with the meds so it is definitely them but no one believes me when I tell them the meds make me feel shitty.

also the other thing that is bothering me is that everything feels wrong like and looks wrong I don’t know how to explain it properly but everything just doesn’t look right and also the demon people who live in this world have been getting into my head a lot recently like they can read my mind and they put thoughts in my head that aren’t mine and also take my own thoughts out of my head and it is really frustrating and uncomfortable and I just want them to stop but they won’t stop because they are waiting for me to give them what they want and I can’t do that or I will perish and it is complicated but I am tired and they are making me tired so I can’t fight them they are doing so many things to me to weaken me so I can’t fight them and I am trying to not give in but it is hard even now they are trying to get into my head because I am not playing their game the way they want me too I am just tired of fighting so hard all the time just to stay afloat. I don’t know what to do anymore I tried playing their game but that doesn’t seem to be working anymore maybe I need to try harder to convince them idk I really don’t and what if I do all of that and it just gets worse ugh why is everything so hard.

57 replies

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In response to: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

Hugs @Eden1919 ,

How are you feeling? I just wanted you to know I'm sitting with you so you are not alone in this.

tyme

In response to: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

@AussieRecharger well i have certainly never done anything that could put me in jail i am not that kind of person.

@tyme thanks sorry it took me so long to reply my internet was out for like 5 days anyway i am struggling a little bit to be honest idk i just feel really weird and not right and there is a lot going on which is hard to explain but i am trying my best to manage everything even if i am not succeeding.

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @Eden1919 ,

I know you are trying @Eden1919 . I hear that it's not easy. I don't think I'd be doing any better if I were in your position.

I'm sorry you didn't have internet for 5 days. That's a long time!

Are you doing anything nice for yourself?

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

@tyme thanks i have been trying to watch some good tv shows but i am struggling to settle on one so i am not having much luck.

i am struggling today and am a bit upset but anyway i just dont really know what to do with myself at the moment and everything is turning out to be super difficult so idk it is just hard. i have a appointment that i dont want to go to like i do but i am just really struggling to leave the house at the moment and idk if i can do it tomorrow so i am nervous. also some things are coming back that i didnt want to come back and now it is hard idk i am not able to explain everything very well but i am not having a good time.

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

That sounds so tough @Eden1919 . What are some things that you enjoy doing?

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

@tyme i like watching movies and listening to music and i did like doing art but the med i am on have zapped all my creativity and i havent done any art since starting it over a year ago.

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

i do not feel good today and i am so sick of them getting into my head and taking thoughts out and putting things in my head too and i cant even think properly without being interrupted and it is really messing with me and even now i am trying to express the truth and they and zapping all my energy and trying to force me to sleep so that i forget and stop talking about what is true. and this happens all the time and i think they are putting stuff in the food and i just idk what to do anymore i am trapped here in this world and they wont let me out without a fight and i just want to cry and i cant do that either. and also i think they are trying to brainwash me and well i know they are trying to get me ready to eat me and i just idk i am so exhausted and also buzzed at the same time and it feels really uncomfortable.

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

@Eden1919 sounds like there's a lot going on for you right now hun, I'm really sorry that things are so tough. Sounds very distressing, chaotic, and overwhelming.

What do you usually find helpful when things become this hectic for you?

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

Hugs @Eden1919 .

It's sad you haven't worked on your art for over a year. Do you still have the materials?

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do

Re: Not sure what to do

@Jynx i have been trying to just watch tv shows that i like but i cant stay focused on them for long and cant seem to settle into one to watch and keep swapping shows every 5-10mins and it is really frustrating i just cant settle. and like it doesnt help that i can feel them in my head messing around with things like i just want to relax but i cant.

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