Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Just as well he had the Shazzle Dazzle cleaning services at his disposal @Shaz51 😀.

ha ha thank you my @Former-Member sooooo much xxx

@Shaz51

Trust you have a pleasant weekend @Shaz51 and that Mr Shaz is able to get a few photos taken.

it is raining here @Former-Member

Hopefully it won't rain all weekend @Shaz51 .

@Shaz51

Do you use the bureau of meteorology website for 7 day forecast? Here is a link if you have not heard of it. 😀

http://www.bom.gov.au/qld/forecasts/map7day.shtml

hope you don`t mind me coping you message over here @Owlunar

So @Shaz51

I must get back to Mr Shaz who really seems to have severe anxiety at times which causes him to suffer from more anxiety and his self-treatment is often to go to bed - and it must be difficult for you to know what to for him at times and with your mother being so ill you have agreed that Mr Shaz seems to become worse when your mother needs you and you asked somewhere else what you can do about it. That is tough to answer so I have been thinking about it.

Mr Shaz has the right to disagree with the diagnoses he has been given - still he does seem to be in denial - and it doesn't matter to us ordinary people what the condition is called or what part of the brain generates this denial but here you are -

Aw Shaz - I could be wrong but it seems Mr Shaz needs some tough love - or Tough Love - which is a way of managing people who are not co-operating with social aspects of life and we have to work out whose problem it all is and this can be really unpopular - but what to do.

My ex-h didn't want to take headache pills and I reached a stage that I didn't want to hear any complaints until he took something - and this was painful - he would moan gently whenever I walked past the door - I would ignore this but it was irritating

So here you are with Mr Shaz not liking his medication and stopping and starting with it - going to bed - constantly worried - and it must be so hard to hear about this all the time when you have health problems of your own and your tough old Mum insisting on her independence and sending away the helpers -

I like her style btw - but I know she has to take the help - but Mr Shaz does seems to get worse when your Mum needs it

Try some Tough Love Shaz - with both of them when you have to but with Mr Shaz for sure - you can look that up on the Internet - it might help but it is Tough of You Too

Caring Shaz - we are all entitled to question the bodies of authority in our lives - in person - we need to follow their suggestions if such things help -

Can you or have your talked with Mr Shaz's doctors

sooo true my second mum @Owlunar , you are soo right xx

Mr Shaz does seems to get worse when my Mum needs it or when life and business needs us more

seems Mr Shaz needs some tough love --- most times mr shaz likes me being in control of totally everything and then he fights against it

hard to find a right balance with it all

his self-treatment is often to go to bed--- it is now @Owlunar , but not in the past ( it was fight or flight )

and then with me being mentally and emotionally abused when young has stopped me from being who I am ?? or is this just an excuse

@BryanaCamp, @Former-Member , @outlander , @Determined , @Former-Member

Hi @Shaz51

I know Mr Shaz had a bad time in his life and lost a lot of important things - and this was a turning point in his life which triggered mental illness and he can't help that anymore than anyone can help a physical or mental illnes

But - huge but -

Sometimes it seems that he is playing up a bit - playing psycholigcal games - wanting you to be in charge of his therapy etc and then fighting you about it - not a nice way to behave either - like wanting his cake and eating it then complaining about it - I can tell you all about a marriage that failed with a husband being passive/aggressive but you already know enough of my story - enough can get to be enough if it continues long enough

About your childhood abuse - I think - Dr Phil said it - a person who has been abused as a child - or anyone actually - will feel useless and worse when they have been treated like trash and as for your not feeling like yourself - that is something like an open wound within you that needs treatment too and I have not read that about you before and don't know if you have had any treatment - I do remember reading that your mother eventually left your father - but it isn't an excuse - you have trouble being yourself because of confusion from childhood about yourself - other people might be able to explain this better

And I don't mind that your moved the post - it's good actually

Dec