Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

thank you @Faith-and-Hope , feeling sooo tired now

will need too , soon i am thinkung xx

Dear @Shaz51

Wishing you the deepest most restful sleep. So much going on.

Hi @Shaz51

As @Faith-and-Hope says - please take time for yourself - you matter too - and it's amazing how much you are doing when your health is not good either - actually it bothers me a lot

And I hope all these other people buzzing in and out - are helping a bit - it's really too much for one person

I am glad your mother is having transitional care but why does she not qualify for more? I get 5 core hours a week of domestic and shopping - why not your mother

Is this because she resists having this kind of care - I think it is - this is so hard for you - I wouldn't expect this from my daughter - does your mother understand that your health is a problem too?

I'm sorry - this is your second Mum being really protective of you - and rather bothered about all the extra hangers-on right now - people need some rest and peace of quiet after hospital and your mother had a huge operation

I'm sending Super-Hugs today - one for you of course

Dec

@Owlunar, your "second Mum" contributions make me smile. You're a sweetie. 🙂

yes @Smc , @Owlunar , my second mum is a sweetie

Mum does qualify for more, but she thinks and will do things herself , very indepenent , strong lady is my mum

we have in place from today a physio, a OT lady , Meals on wheels , equipment aids around the house for her

I reassurred mum yesterday that things will settle down soon , might seem a bit crazy at the moment , but it will fall into place

I have a gardener for mum now

got my cousin to bring in mum`s mail each day for me too

and mum`s sister ( aunty ) is my backup and she goes to see her everyday xx

Hello @Appleblossom , @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member

mr shaz has a MI appt this afternoon and his should is very slowly recovering

raining up here from the cyclone , soo work has slowed down a lot until the sun comes back again

More rain for you @Shaz51, and still not enough of it getting down here. The ground here is dry as dust, even the beds I'm watering dry out too easily.

So it sounds like there's a bit more of an informal support network around your Mum now? Maybe between all of you, you might manage to gently talk your Mum into accepting more outside help.

The thing which helped my Mum accept that she needed to be looked after (at aged care home level) was one of the social workers putting the positive spin on it, that when she was being cared for and not so pressured as she was when trying to do it all herself, who she "is" had the "chance to shine". Maybe understanding that "who we are" is as much a valuable contribution as "what we do" is a key point. For all of us.

@Smc

@Shaz51 Its great that you have managed to work out what your mum needs and put it in place. You have been busy, and yes there are lots of decisions to be made. I hope it is sufficient to give your mum a new lease on life for a while.

very good point @Smc

@Appleblossom, @Owlunar , @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member

mum had a fall today and bump her head , so they are keeping her in hospital overnight

awwwwwww

@Former-Member, @outlander , @Former-Member

Oh dear @Shaz51 ... Your poor Mum, re the fall. It will add to her feelings of vulnerability. Good to hear they are keeping her in hospital tonight. For observation, if nothing else.

Try not to worry Shaz, its a major transition for her. And be content knowing that you have put as many safeguards in place for her as possible. Give yourself a break. Not only do you need a break, you so very much deserve it.

Sherry 😇💕💕