Hi @Shaz51
I can hear you - I read somewhere when I was just checking the threads that you didn't go away because Mr Shaz was anxious then your Mum had a fall or got sick or something and it was a good thing you hadn't gone away - and now Mum is "saying things" etc and you need to go back to work and your Mum expects a lot from you but I also know she doesn't ask for things - but yes
My mother wanted to live with my sister after Dad died but she lost the plot - mother did - when Dad died - and no way could she have managed - it would have been too much for my sister and my mother was never interested in my help - so it's really hard and I supported my sister in her supporting Mum in Aged Care but this forced Sister and me apart - so I sort of see the puzzle - but I never had the responsibility of an aging parent
I guess if your mother refuses to have aids - and I so get that - she could compromise and have an alarm system - I have that all set up here and I don't need it but it is there if I do and I am comforted by it - if I should fall or need the help - that's not invasive
But I think Shaz - I think about my Little Family and you with Poor Little Kidney and Mr Shaz and feel so much about that dinner going back in the fridge - you have to care for your own health first and these two are important for you and have different needs for care too - so it's a sort of puzzle
Maybe your mother's doctor knows about the situation and your health too - at least I hope so - and you work - which is reasonable - and I would not want to be in hospital or aged care either
Would your mother accept Aged Care at home - that would help - but then she is not eating properly either -
But she wants her independence - would she accept meals being delivered?
Actually - I can see your Mum's point of view but that alarm is the best bet - I know you can't make her press the blue button if she needs to but at least it is there for her
What a battle for you
Thinking my best thoughts
Dec
big hugs 
