Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Oh no @Cath22 ..... 😔

You said you know that he is physically safe .... so you know where he is staying ?

Apart from anyone hung else, I am sure you will need space to breathe for at least 24 hours ..... you will likely be in shock and unable to take any real action in the moment anyway.

Perhaps Relationships Australia can help you sort out what is happening and how you're feeling, and where to go from here ?

Big hugs @Cath22 ..... I really don't know where my relationship stands at the moment or what is ahead for me ...... feeling for you so much ..... ❣️

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope , I really appreciate it.
Yes, his parents have a caravan down by the beach so he's gone there.
I have no idea what happens now. Right now I don't feel like I have any energy but I need to deal with work, Mini Cath and Mr C's family who expect me to have all the answers!
After trying so hard to understand and accept things this year, all I feel now is furious!
Big hugs to you too. Must be very very hard for you x

Take it in baby steps @Cath22 .... that is my best advice ..... do t let anyone rush you through decisions ..... let everything have the time it needs to work it through.

💜

@Cath22 feel so much for you. Mr Darcy went walkabout a number of times before his attempt - but I did not know where he was. It was a confusing and lonely time for me. I had work but no minis to take care of, only animals, fortunately I have plenty of sick leave so have been able to take stress or carers leave as needed. On one occasion Mr Darcy ended up in the psych ward of a hospital interstate, his brothers brought him home, not quite sure what happened properly but I gather he may have attempted, was possibly psychotic. The next time we were able to intercept him at the airport, another time he came home of his own volition after spending just under a week in the bush, each time he had no concept of the pain I had experienced.

Does Mr C have a case worker who could check on him otherwise CATT might be able go and see him and assess his mental health. (Mr Darcy was at high risk when he went AWOL.)

Looking back, once I found out about MI, learned what hypomania, psychosis and adverse effects of drugs, I was able to give the pdocs heaps of info that Mr Darcy had not given them and this lead to a different diagnosis and appropriate meds, I cannot believe how stable he has been (still has a way to go - recovering from the acute episode takes a long time).

It will probably be hard for you to rest, but getting good sleep if you can will help greatly. Take care, keep talking, sending hugs.
Darcy

Wow @Former-Member , you have been through a lot. I can only imagine what that was like. You've been an amazing support to Mr Darcy. I don't think they'll ever really know what we've been through. If they start to, I think the guilt overwhelms them.
Mini Cath is in bed and the dog is being empathetic in the way that only dogs can so I'm hoping I can relax for a bit x

@Cath22 you have been through a lot too and now is a very difficult time for you, supporting someone through an attempt is never easy. Now having further worries to contend with adds to an already difficult situation. My dogs gave me comfort too, K9 hot water bottles.

As @Faith-and-Hope says, no need to rush things, I have always thought decisions made in crisis are rarely good.

Be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to cry, even if it is only in private, I have found as Shakespeare says 'to weep is to make less the depth of grief "

It is OK to feel angry, to feel hurt, to feel scared, finding outlets to express these feelings (such as here) is healthy and saves you saying things to someone in person that you may regret later. There is also the suicide support line who can help too, I contacted them a number of times after the attempt when I needed someone to talk to.

Sending hugs,
Darcy

Thanks @Former-Member
Yes, one of the best things about being here is that you can express anger and fear and all those things that either aren't 'allowed' or require a disclaimer in the so-called real world!

Please feel free to ask me any questions @Cath22 anything you want.

I know all I wanted when things were bad was for someone (aka Mr D) to hold me and tell me everything would be OK, something he could not do.

There is certainly a 'before' and 'after' and the two are very different.

Take care for now, hope you get a good sleep.
Darcy

The thing with broken clocks is you can tell exactly when they stopped working...with people its harder sometimes you dont even know they're broken.
I cant do this anymore its all just too hard to keep going.......

Hi @Blue-eyes-77 ......

Here and listening to you ...... 💜💕