Recovery for me is a daily mission.
Recognition of even the smallest accomplishments is a goal.
But unfortunately I don't allow myself this luxury.
I've lost my self Worth.
I can't accept compliments I really struggle with this one.
I've struggled with chronic depression anxiety for a very very long time.
Recovery has been 2 steps forward 1 step back.
I've done counselling, therapy,maxed out on medication.
It's all just a distraction from the reality that my head is just screwed up.
My bucket is full.
As each day ticks by it over flows it's just the amount that varies.
I'm aware of my triggers.
I'm aware of a lot of s..t how to manage my feelings and thoughts.
But it makes no difference because I am burnt out and simply have no energy to practice anything.
Sorry I'm not trying to be negative here just being honest in a place where I'm anonymous.
A place where hopefully I won't be judged.
The weird thing it is so much easier to talk to strangers rather than my own wife.
There's stuff I don't want to discuss with my wife simply because I don't want her to worry more than she does..
If you have gotten this far well it's more than I expected but thank you.
Recovery is finding things that distract me this is my respite.