Support for Flowerlove22

@tyme you don't understand this time I have put my foot down I am no longer going to see them my brother wants to me to watch the kids all the time the kids might as well move in my sister is a wild one I need a little break from her

After today I can't see her that was too much for me

I'm now sitting here crying

If I ask them for something it's a no

I’m sorry to but I’m here @Sunnyside226 but you know what I have the same issues with my siblings, well I had.
I cut ties with most of them except one.

There was far too much being asked of me and expected of me to parent them, I spent my whole early days doing that and now that I have other priorities including my own family I put my foot down.

I spent a lot of time even in my early 20s housing a teenager who would run away and end up at my place, who is now an adult who has no respect for me or appreciation for me despite me cooking, cleaning, housing, taking him to school, picking him up from school, dealing with the police, driving around in the middle night looking for him when he went missing, and I never expected repayment but I never got a thank you I got the opposite I got money taken, I had my car broken into, I had things shared about me that were not true, claims made against me…

In the end I was happy to see the back of him. Once I met my partner I helped him get a job and I said that’s it, no more. Cya later and cut ties. Sadly he is in prison now.

We have spoken twice since, and one of those was when my mum died in 2022. I don’t feel bad about it anymore because I have to focus on improving my life and my young families life ONLY.
I cant control the actions of others because once you think you can do that it takes over your own life.

I only speak to one of my siblings who is struggling a lot right now, but I know where my place is and that it’s ok to pull back when you need to (and how to do it). It also goes case by case, I have a lot more patience for her because she is trying her best and is usually grateful and appreciative of what I do for her.
I have more time for her than any of my other siblings.

Basically what I’m saying is it’s ok to say no and you will feel better for it, maybe not right now but one day you will

What is important to you and your life? What can you focus on that is for YOU?

For me, the trigger to me cutting ties with my brother was my own relationship and family. I didn’t want to keep investing my emotional energy into this when my emotional energy could go elsewhere to people I love

Thanks for sharing @ArraDreaming

@Sunnyside226 , it's hard. I'm glad you are doing what's right for you. Let's see how this goes.

If you don't mind me asking, culturally, are family expected to help each other for you? I'm not sure of your culture/ancestry.

For some, family is everything. While for others, they pretty much live independently of family.

@tyme both my siblings are older then me they expect me to drop everything it's everyday my brother calls can you have the kids can you watch them yes I have said yes many times but I don't even get much time to myself or spent it with my partner I feel like I have to split myself up so everyone is happy I know they won't be around forever nobody is my brother doesn't even take our sister out he doesn't do anything but winch about having kids all the time he needs a break I told him if you're not ready for kids why did you have them I tired to say it in a nice way

I don't even get one day to myself without someone asking me to do things or that

I am at my wits with everything I feel so Burnt out doing everything it's like they expect me to pick up everything and help them both

I feel like I don't have a life I feel like I go go go

Yes I've blocked his number for now to have a break I feel like the worse person ever but I feel like I am a dog

I may be off track here but that's how I feel , I don't see my sister everyday she doesn't call everyday but after that big incident I don't want to see her for a while I feel like I am being selfish

I feel like I am losing both of them I am done trying with both

I need a break from everything

@ArraDreaming I want to spent more time with my partner I want to be able to live a little do fun things start a family one day

and no my brother doesn't really respect me neither off them do

I just hope they find peace because I am done trying helping

It sounds like they are quite young and are probably looking to you for support @Sunnyside226 ?

Lucky you... being the eldest, eh?

I'm glad you have blocked his number and taken time to yourself. You deserve it.

Focus on you. Focus on your partner.

Are you still looking to propose? (only if you feel like answering)

What do you like to do with your partner?

I got the kids fishing rods today. Hope to go fishing with them.

@ArraDreaming no it's fine

@tyme who are you talking about? Who is the oldest?

I would like to just spend a day with my partner watching a movie going camping or just be with them

But I am here and there

Yes I am still planning on proposing

Do your sisters kids like fishing? Are you doing anything tonight?

I'm sorry if I was harsh tonight I didn't mean to

@ArraDreaming , that's very thoughtful of you.

@Sunnyside226 , you said your siblings were all younger. Does that mean you're the eldest? Is that right? Maybe I got it wrong.

Fishing.. hahaha. The kids like playing around. We went fishing on our last trip and caught heaps of fish. It's not to eat or anything.. only for fun.

I'm glad you enjoy doing those things with your partner. That's so special.

No stress. You weren't being harsh at all.

Any plans for tomorrow?