In hospital. How do I ask for the right help here?

Hi all. I decided to use the private health insurance mental health waiver* and go to a private hospital for my severe depression as a last ditch effort thing.

I'll be blunt: it's really disappointing.

The cost is $20,000 for the stay. If I didn't have this one-off mental health waiver thing there would be no way I could afford it.

And for this $20k I'm getting TMS, a room to stay in and hospital food and that's about it.

I feel maybe like I'm being a bit of a "Karen" but it feels I could've just gotten the TMS as an outpatient, subsidised by Medicare. I do see the psychiatrist more frequently here but we just talk about the TMS or other meds and not any of the issues in my life.

There are no psychologist or counsellors here, so no one to talk to at all about the big issues. The answer here seems to be to "drug" them away, which I admit might be great for some people, but I feel that basic talking therapy of some sort should be part of the treatment as well. If nothing else it drives me up the wall having no one to talk to about these big issues. Hell, I even called LifeLine last night because I was feeling so bad.

Nurses have all been very nice, but for one thing that's really triggering for me: they just walk into your room whenever they want . You could be getting changed, or asleep, or using the bathroom. Doesn't matter, they just walk in without knocking.

They do this several times a night too to check up on you. I get this is part of making sure your OK, but the sleep deprivation is really getting to me, especially as they shine a torch in your face to check. I've been in situations in the past where hearing a door opening at night when you're asleep might mean someone is coming in to... harass you. For me, it triggers an adrenalin discharge which makes it hard to get back to sleep.

There also seems to be a huge lack of organisation. I didn't eat for the first day because I wasn't given a daily menu to check my meal selection off on. For the next day I did get the menu, but I only really ate toast because everything on the menu had meat in it (I'm a vegetarian, and did tell them on admission). It was only when the catering staff noticed I only ordered toast that they mentioned they had off-menu vegetarian options.

Another frustrating thing was some of my medication was withheld. I brought in all my meds from home with me and the nurses took them of course, but when I went to ask for my dose they only gave me some of them. The psychiatrist had simply forgotten to give them a complete list of the medications I was on.

The good part is everyone here - the patients - are chilled out and just regular people (as you'd expect). They have some activities like board game groups and painting groups which I would encourage anyone coming to one of these places to go to, not so much for the activity but for the chance just to talk to people. Otherwise I spend a lot of time just sitting in my room watching Netflix (you are allowed to bring your laptop).

Rooms themselves are a mixed bag. The hospital where I am there is an older section and a newer section. At first I was put into a room in the older section which was honestly disgusting - handprints and (I presume) food marks on the walls, stains on the bed, cigarette burns in the blanket, lino lifting off the floor, constantly dripping taps. Even the metal frame of the chair was literally rusting. I asked to change rooms and was moved into a room in the newer part which is honestly quite nice - I've stayed in far worse hotel rooms. Such a strange juxtaposition between the two parts of the hospital.

So in summary I knew this wouldn't be a holiday of course, but I also assumed - for the $20k price tag - I would get a degree in intensive care (or at least more regular attention) beyond what I could just get on the outside.

I don't know if I feel justified in complaining a lot. Part of my doesn't want to be a pr!ck, but the other part of me wants to get as much out of this one-time situation as possible.

*for those that don't know about the private health insurance waiting period waiver: if you have private health insurance you can upgrade to a plan that covers hospital stays and you can waive the waiting period for mental health hospital admission just once. So, what a lot of people do including myself is upgrade to the premium health insurance plan, use the waiver and go to hospital, than downgrade the plan back to basic (or cancel it). Still costs money of course, but nowhere near the full amount.