APPROACHING SURE?

@Former-Member I did hop on line hoping you had replied .. we can only do what we can ..

I am thinking that @Kurra has a point ..

the 2 different state Depts justice said to take it further

it never occurred to me at all .. I was mainly embarrassed that I had overstepped the mark .. and paramedics had been called in .. I had been thrown out of choir .. and I was just mad after all .. so discount myself .. it is actually refreshing and totally NEW for me to be told to take it further .. as it is new for me to be able to articulate .. the event . the insult .. etc .. In some ways I am TOO good at moving on .. and letting go .. etc

Then having all this pressure prematurely to FORGIVE when I did not even know what was going on ...

So now I am old .. and I keep files and I take notes .. just trying to clarify things in my own mind ..

I think the point that Dept of Justice are trying to make .is .. that RC church is trying to wriggle out of monetary reimbursements .. and saying .. it will never happen again .. but .. in the meantime .. this is happening to me ...

Please .. I would love more feedback on this question .. @Former-Member @Mazarita

@Sahara @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Zoe7@Former-Member @PeppiPatty

I havent talked out "police issue" with psych .. as it just came up yesterday .. but I am interested in a range of responses ..

@Appleblossom I am not sure that I have anything useful to say because I'm not quite up to speed on your story. I found going to the Royal Commission an awesome and empowering experience and I would recommend that to anyone. On the other hand, I found the legal process of suing the church an absolute nightmare. The court case ran for three years and the solicitors/barrister etc. ended up getting far more money out of it than I did. I would never recommend going through a legal process for the money - it was harrowing. At the same time, it was empowering and now whenever I have to do something super scary, I remind myself that I sued a church!

I did go to the police regarding the abuse stuff. However, they said there wasn't any evidence and thus nothing they could really do. Hence the person was never charged. My court case was a civil case against the church regarding the way they handled the situation, rather than a case against the perpetrator per se (although the church then went on to sue the perpetrator - it got super messy).

I went to the police back in...um...around 1998 so things might have changed now.

For me, the best thing I have got out of the whole saga is the funded sessions through Victim's Services. I had no idea about that until I went to the RC. Even though it isn't set in stone that I will get unlimited sessions, this seems to be the general consensus of everyone who knows my story. Apparently they are particularly generous in funding sessions for those who went before the RC.

Anyway, as I said, I'm not totally clear on your story so I have no idea if any of that is helpful. Let me know if you have any more questions for me

@Appleblossom I'm not sure I can help you much with this one my friend. I had to make a decision myself a couple of months ago re: charges (I think I did post about it but then removed it). It was not a decision I felt I had a choice in making under my circumstances - I couldn't handle making a decision so I knew I definitely couldn't handle a long drawn out judicial process and the impact it would have on me and others. But my case is very different to yours. I suppose what I am trying to say is - whatever decision you make, go into it with your eyes wide open, assess all the possible processes and outcomes, and make your decision on what is best for YOU (no-one else) and what you can cope with in both the short-term and the long-term. Know that you have covered all bases and gained as much information as you need before going ahead or not. The most important thing for you is YOU - knowing who you are, what you can deal with, and possibly what support you have around you (other than us here) that will be there for you no matter how long it takes.

I hope this doesn't confuse you even more.

Here for you if you want to discuss what you are thinking and need to talk about it more.

Zoe

I think that point is probably right @Appleblossom. You probably are too good at moving on but it's worked well for you too no doubt. Probably a great survival tool of yours. I was raised not to make a fuss. I guess as you get older you begin to realise all the things we take for granted now because people did make a fuss. They were all injustices but easy to sweep under the carpet. I'm thinking Mabo and women's rights and equal marriage, there is heaps. You are in a position to do something if you feel ready to. The hard part is that by doing with it there is potential for messing with your mental health too. I am mad at myself that I let it go and didn't report my treatment from that last hospital admission. It means one less voice to show the impact bad treatment from people who should no better gets left unchecked. I think that's part of your frustration too. It's someone who should know or at least attempt to seek understanding of the issues. You got my high horse now 😃 I hope you work through it without causing you too much stress. You always have to be number one priority in this. Sending hugs. 💜🤗

Thank you for your responses. Its good to have feedback. I am not in a hurry to act. I will let it simmer on the back burner for a few days at least.

I have stayed away from initiating actions, because I did not have the faith or the money to purchase good legal counsel... also simply .. a lick me wounds gal .. not a 'go to the manager' type .. but maybe that should change.

The social atmosphere has changed a little. not sure if it the right thing is to manage it through the system we do have, admittedly flawed, rather than giving up all together ... I have done the walk away

@Phoenix_Rising Congratulations on running a legal case against a church. That certainly takes gumption. I can understand when you talk about the complicatedness of your muddle .... on another post.

@Decadian likes to say we are all in the same puddle .. what do you think wise woman Dec??

For me RC is something to hang on for .. it was a surprise that we got one .. I used to be involved in silent protests ... and it was amazing that it came to be .. mostly I have not been well enough to get too involved .. I also did not think it was relevant to me but to my father .. but eventually they told me I had a claim .. mostly I have found the interactions all very supportive and respectful. It actually felt strange having well dressed cheerful people be nice to me .. rather than rude derogatory .. patronising condescending .. I stopped feeling there was an us & them. haves & haves not .. helped me let go a little rage .. which is always a good thing

Hi @Appleblossom

I think we do things because it gets uncomfortable not to - you must still be involved with your RC - and I was getting ready to send you a post on the situation in the Melbourne Juvenile Justice Centre myself

Which I was not planning to do

A few weeks ago I sent an email to my dear, elderly uncle and told him that I had been involved in so much stuff back 20-30 years ago now - I had not thought about it but it has come around to bite me again

So through all that - being involved with changes in the Juvenile Justice Centre and DHS, the Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody and the Task Force into Youth Suicide - I felt I had to make some phone calls and did - and of course - what the media are telling us and what the truth is are not the same thing - so

I am going to write an email to someone at the Melbourne Juvenile Justice Centre to investigate this myself and then write an article for publication on the subject - with my on-the-ground in-my-face experience of the old prison and what I know about now - and of course asking this person if I can speak with some of the teenagers in the facility - if possible

I can't write an article without research - so I do have to see for myself

It's to show the side that education is compulsory for everyone until they are 17 - and for the best part it does run smoothly - but I want some statistics on recividism and the successes

Yeah - so I am into it again

That's about me now what was your question

Well - yes - I have not been a part of the silent majority who do valuble work - but I have been a phone-ringer, letter writer and getting on TV - very obvious - my family didn't like it - stiff cheddar - I did this because I refuse to be a victim saying "Why me?" but rather "Why not me?"

It was all "In-my-face" and it is again

For you - you have done the work - for your father perhaps - and still there I think. The truth needs to be told - and if not publically - at least we need to know the truth for ourselves - and it all comes down to that gut feeling which gives us a pain unless we act or an ache when we do.

And yes - it is good to be addressed as a decent, responsible, educated and worthwhile member of society - I have always expected that and accept that - I followed in my father's footsteps - I am like my father

Do what I have just done - leave it on the back burner until you get that niggling feeling that makes you get up and act - meanwhile - think it through and do your research

And all the best with it

About the puddle - yes - I like that story about the blind leading the blind and they all fall in the ditch - when they do I think that ditch might be a better place than where they fell from - they are with people of their own kind and no one looks down on anyone else there

I could be wrong - but I like the company of like-minded people myself

Dec

🤗 ...Oh @Dec ... you've got a wonderful inner safe there .... ❤️💕

I am not too worried about being confused @Zoe7 .. just doing due diligence .. ask the question .. brainstorm a bit .. let dust settle .. repeat .. a few times

when I have time .. around other commitments I will take action ..

it is for me .. for self respect .. just saying .. enough .. its not right .. playing by the rules .. it never occurred to me ..

but if this is the proper protocol .. then I dont wanna be a chicken .. no amount of money is going to fix or change things .. and I am adequately catered for atm .. so that is a non-issue ..

it helps me so much to process it .. with people I know and respect

THANKS