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A Poem? Maybe?

A Poem? Maybe?

Hurt, Lost, Broken

My life is in tatters, my dreams have crumbled around me

I had the life, i had it all

How did i fail

How did i fall

Cruising through life, using everything i could

To keep myself moving

To keep myself high

The ups are fantastic, the best place to be

Altho i could never see the disease

The illness taking over me

No treatment

No plan

No help

Just searching for the high that evaded me

Using this drug and that

To maintain that happy place

When in reality

I was just wasting space

Broken and tired

My life in ruins

How stupid of me to believe

That i was as fantastic as i could be

Tortured now, by the memories

The lows, so low some will never know

How quickly life changes

When everything crumbles and falls in a heap

Now i am lonely

Now i am unloved

Now i have no peace

No place

No love from the one i hurt so much

I still miss her dearly

And altho i know we will never be

I can always hope it untrue

A dream to awaken from

Faith only blames me

Treatment only dulls me

Pain is all i feel

Hate of myself is all i can think

Why did i not notice

How could i not see

Why did this happen

Unanswered questions just for me

The hardest part of it all

Is knowing i will never get to say goodbye

To those who were closest to me

All hope is lost

No freedom for me

Forever trapped in this hellhole

I hope not for an eternity

Thank you

Sorry i just needed to write

376 replies

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In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Hey @Loopy !

It is so good to have you back! Welcome, have a cyber hug or 3! We have missed you.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

kristin, thankyou, it is amazing just what the odd one or three cyber hugs can do to boost a flagging mood. Cyber

In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Great to see you back @Loopy..we miss you when you're away..hugs, backslaps and possibly some hooting and hollering!!

In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

@PeppiPatty you can be very insightful. Thanks for being here.

In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Hey @kato just want to acknowledge you and what i see as your strength. To actually be there for others even when you don't feel like you are. Thank you so much for your guidance.

In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Hi Loopy boy,

I am happy your back....Mr Loopy boy we missed u. : 0) ..
How are you?
I can't write these poems like you do. Just lovely esp. Last line :0)
Note the spontaneous smiles ?

:0)
It's getting warm here in W A . It's pretty cool tonight though but I still got the air conditioner on because I like feeling cold air hitting my arms. But all wrapped up in the Doona.......go figure hey :0)

I've been thinking about changing from Peppermint Patty on my picture to Snoopy, what do you think ? The balloons a bit of a trademark isn't it ?

In response to: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

@peace,
Your concerns are valid.
Some on the top of my head ideas :
Can you maybe bring a support worker in with you, to explain this to him?
It feels you are vulnerable and I'm writing that people in the forum are caring for you and I'm one of them.

Your fears should be addressed.......how about seeing someone who can help you write a letter......like your the speaker and a loved one or support worker is the writer?
Super sensitive is okay. Why do you think I'm online now?
Do you know of a Social Worker in the hospital or connected to Psychiatrists business who can speak of your medication to you ?



In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Well @Loopy

In that case when you need a cyber hug or 3 please ask - they are always available by the truck load for such as you.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

A big Thank you @kristin and @Loopy for sharing two truly amazing poems,

Also welcome back Loopy, your wise words of wisdom i have been missing, glad to hear you are doing better.

I have had a interesting last couple of days...... i had a good session with my psychologist, addressing anxiety issues that i have, which i am trying to keep from stopping me going out, and then we also addressed my fears associated with contacting old friends...... So i went out on a limb and messaged one of them yesterday afternoon, he was working so he didn't get back to me till later, but i asked if he wanted to catch up for a drink, he called me and said come round for dinner and a drink and a chat, So i rock up there, he is his usual self which is good, we have dinner have a couple of drinks, and then we start talking about everything, he is close to both my ex and me, and he knows alot of the story, The good news is tho he could tell i was remorseful, and not pleased at all with my actions, and is still my friend, altho in talking we spoke about a couple of other friends, who are definately not ones i should see just yet....

then today, i woke up at a reasonable hour, relaxed while doing some homework for psychiatrist, and then surprised myself by deciding that i wanted to go to the movies, So i went, on my own, which was ok, movies are definately better when you go with others, but i put my nerves and anxiety to the side, and watched it,

i think the main thing i need to do sometimes is actually push myself to do things, not dwell on my fears of a situation, talk my way through my anxiety, like why am i anxious, and then question the response, etc etc

Thank you

In response to: Re: A Poem? Maybe?

Re: A Poem? Maybe?

@peace

Thank you for your kind words, i am humbled.

I always find myself writing and deleting posts, so often, because if i read them and i don't think they are worthwhile, they get deleted, i delete alot of posts, lol usually to do with me and my own stuff, i am glad that in some way shape or form, my posts are maybe helping you a little.

I know that everyone's posts to me always help, they can bring a brightness to a glum mood, they can make us smile, they can encourage us or remind us of the strength that we don't realise that we have.

Strength, hope, Knowledge

A burden shared is a burden halved

if lacking knowledge, hope is there

if lacking hope, strength is there

if lacking strength, knowledge is there

In each other strength, knowledge and hope is always found

A kind word, a simple gesture, a knowing comment

we may not expierence the same things

but with our differences comes, understanding

and with understanding comes,

hope, strength, knowledge

Thank you

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