One step at a time @bartart23 .
I'm not sure everything can be fixed all at once.
Hopefully, by coming to the forums, you find the courage and strength to help yourself. Recovery is about empowering you to make the changes that help you because you deserve it.
People on the forums and around you can sit with you, but the hard work comes from you.
With my BPD, depression, anxiety, disordered eating, I blamed everyone else - until I had the realisation that I was the only one who could help myself.
I hope you find that space and place too. It's a difficult journey, but it's worth it.
You, and only you, can do it.