The-red-centaurSenior Contributor
I am embracing my body or causing it more trauma. TW
Over the last six months or so I have been experimenting sexually-to the point where I'm not sure if I'm safe doing so.
Background-I experienced a lot of sexual trauma in my younger years. I've been telling myself I'm learning to explore and love my body by hooking up with randoms from online. I have done some things in pursuit of sex I'm not too proud of, from public sex, to unsafe hookups and unsafe sex with people older than my father. I don't know whether I'm owning and exploring my body and taking ownership of what I do now, or giving into my trauma and doing anything to please people, and finding attention in all the wrong ways.
I'm really stressed that I'll pick up an STI or I'll put myself at too much risk because you never know what online hookup will go wrong.
I don't know how to stop though.