Oscillation between two mind sets

@Jynx it is about starting. The migraine pain has thankfully not been awful, I wouldn’t say I’m pain free though.

I’m still not sure whether I can go tomorrow. Been coughing and shivering today. The shivering came back once I took a shower, so now I’m trying to stay warm. I don’t know how that even happened. I did also spend half an hour looking for my hair towel because I misplaced it, so that did require me to physical exert myself in order to find it. My brain misplaces things, it’s frustrating

I think I'm stupid

@tyme I procrastinate and end up underperforming. My attention span is not good. So I guess I’m lazy and stupid

@tyme I could. I think perfectionism gets the best of me. It took me a while to even figure out how I was going to "unstuck" myself from the endless spiral loop I was in earlier this year. I still have a long way to go. My psych even asked me whether the difficulty in doing things contributes to cptsd. It hit me then how much it did. It has taken me so long to finish uni courses before as well. It took me 6 years to do my bachelors, 2 years to do a 4th year course (which is 1 years full time) and it's taking me 3 years to do a two year masters social work degree

I took 5 years to do my 1 year masters lol.... because I procrastinated @creative_writer

Don't be too harsh a judge on yourself.

@tyme it’s hard to compare myself to my peers who have been in uni for shorter periods of time and have been able to work alongside. I have limited work experience, and I’m almost 30, haven’t established a career or anything yet

Hey @creative_writer ,

Maybe it's not about comparing yourself to others? If you really wanted to compare, at 30, I was still at home in bed under the covers, hiding from the world.

@tyme I know realistically I wouldn’t have been able to handle a placement during my first year because I was in a bad way. While my MH isn’t perfect right now, I’ve learnt more ways to manage. I never realised how even sensory overload by itself could trigger full blown migraines along with suicidal ideation. I used to be so confused why intense suicidal ideation would pop up and why I would feel like shit after going out. It turned out to be the fluorescent lights. I don’t like too much noise either, particularly construction, scrapping and repetitive beeping, Melbourne city is a nightmare. At least I’m out of the city for placement, and outside of the hospital environment which I prefer